Oh, Sallie (our debt holds on, holds on)

May we all find salvation in professions that heal. 

Just when I thought we were getting our feet back under us, it was time to process my annual Income-Based Repayment (IBR) request. This is a nice little program wherein the Department of Education bases monthly student loan payments on one's income. With standard student loan repayment, you have 10 years to pay off your nice little mountain of debt. With IBR, they are kind enough to allow you 20 years. I'm chipping away at time - only 19 years to go before this PhD is paid in full! Last year I lived on easy street, because my monthly payment was based on my income during the year I spent as an intern and got a teensy little stipend. Based on that, my monthly payment was... wait for it... $0! It was amazing.

When the fine people over at Sallie Mae processed this year's monthly payment amount, I was sure it'd go up. I wasn't quite prepared for it go go up to $500 per month. Ouch. And as our salaries increase over the years, the payments will also increase.

Is it worth it?

We pay about 25 grand per year for daycare (ow ow ow it hurts to type that), and now we're looking at 6,000 per year for student loans. Without coming right out and telling you my salary after taxes, I'll let you know that my take-home is, how shall we say... so small it's adorable.

I told Jonathan this morning that my goal is for my children to not go to college. Obviously I'm joking. Mostly.

We're very fortunate in many ways, and we can and will make it work. But whew, I do so wish I could go back and whisper in 18-year-old Chelsea's ear as she took out undergrad loans (so tiny now in retrospect, much thanks to the fine taxpayers for Pell Grants), and 22-year-old Chelsea's ear as she racked up a ridiculous amount of debt to get that MA (terminal master's programs in social sciences generally don't kick any money your way), and 27-year-old Chelsea's ear as she took out loans again to pay for Evelyn and Gideon to be in daycare so she could finish school. It's worth it, right? Right? Anyone?