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| It's a good thing he's adorable. |
Man, I'm tired. More tired than when I had an infant and mono at the same time. More tired then when I was first pregnant and could fall asleep mid-sentence.
We have so many people in our corner right now. Sending love, sending money, bringing meals, running to Target for obscure lists of items (e.g., laundry detergent, washable crayons, and popcorn for stovetop popping), watching the kids when we need it. It's really incredible. And even with all that, the exhaustion.
So the therapist, let's call him Neil, since that's his name, wants me to do something for myself every day. It's called pleasant activities scheduling. I know. I've done it with clients. But as it turns out when you're the one on the couch, it's really hard to do. Some days, it's 9:00 PM and all I can think to do for myself is drink wine and go to sleep. Most days I have a friend or two or three who gently nudge me to get out of the house and be around other people and do things. That also makes me tired. But it's good, and I love them for it even when I'm whining and dragging my feet and consciously manipulating my face. They keep texting and calling and checking in.
Today was hard. Some days are like that. The kids were tired and whiny all day. Jonathan hasn't bathed in a long time and he's molting and leaving flecks of skin everywhere he goes. It's gross. The couch looked like it had a nice dusting of powdered sugar. So I booted him from the couch, cleaned and vacuumed everything, and tried to tackle the other cleaning/organizational stuff on my list at home. By the time I got to lunch (out with the kids and a friend), I really really wanted a nice Red Oak with my burger. Sit down at the table and BAM Evelyn has spilled the beer everywhere. Of course. Then we played at the park, which was great until it was time to go and there was gnashing of teeth. Then we went to dance. I spent about 20 minutes sweet-talking Evelyn into getting out of the car, another 20 in the bathroom convincing her to put on her ballet clothes whilst mostly succeeding in keeping Gideon from licking the toilet plunger, and then about 5 minutes sitting. She was late to class at that point, despite us being ridiculously early to the school and even beating the teacher there. But why did I only sit for five minutes? Oh yeah, because she was kicked out of class for not listening to the teacher and just being bratty. Faaaaaaaaaaaaantastic. At least the kids went to bed with relative ease tonight. Sometimes it's like they know just how far they can push things and they stop just before mommy loses her mind.
Tomorrow is a new day. Wednesday is even newer, and is - we hope - the day we get some answers from the surgeon regarding the game plan for Jonathan. I'll keep you posted.
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