Saying no.

We met with our real estate agent this week to talk through the nuts and bolts of buying and selling. It was good. It was helpful. It ended with us realizing that we somehow have not managed to save thousands (I don't even have a thousand, let alone many thousands that would necessitate an entire account) and thousands and thousands of dollars to put down on a new house. Or to throw at the current one. Or to have on hand for various selling/buying emergencies. HOW have we not managed to do this, you ask? I mean, I'm not naming names or anything, but we have a couple really short people living in our house and... I'm just saying... they might be spending their college tuition on daycare.

Long story short, we realized that we will not in fact be looking to buy or sell this spring/summer after all. We still have the goal to move before E starts kindergarten, but we have another year to win the lottery save money. Which brings us to... no.

What are we saying NO to? Cable TV. Blowing the budget by eating out whenever we felt like it. Buying just one bra that isn't a nursing bra. New clothes in general. All fundraisers. Gifts (I'm pushing hard for a gift-free Christmas - for the adults - but not getting much traction with Jonathan). Gym membership or Crossfit bootcamp or something. Going to Kansas. Taking a vacation, staycation, or please-god-i-would-stay-at-a-motel-6-if-it-meant-i-could-sleep-for-eight-hours-uninterrupted break. Going to the theme park with all the coworkers. Going to the state fair. Haircuts. Spending any unexpected money. Games, gadgets, books, music, apps, home decor. Having an electrician figure out why outlets are dying. The fall HVAC inspection/tuning. Fixing the cracked windshield and back wiper on the Prius.

The best books in life are free. And you can get them at the library. 

So that requires some creativity. And I have to break my five-years-running rule of saying yes to any and all activities, dinners out, what have you with potential friends. But, what are we saying YES to? ALL THE HEALTHCARE! Even though it's taken many, many calls and a good deal of back and forth with Blue Cross, we finally all came to the agreement that we have in fact met our family deductible and now we're down to the 10% copay for services. I'm living the good life and taking advantage of the next two months when we can afford things like therapy and my first physical and bloodwork since... um, it's been a while. It's super nice to be able to do these things without shelling out hundreds of dollars per visit - which is what happened last time I had the bright idea of accessing mental or physical healthcare. That's the big one. But we're also saying yes to the library. The park. Scouring the lists of weekend activities for free events every weekend. Trading friends favors for babysitting. Carefully planning meals and grocery purchases. Playing at home. Driving less whenever possible. Going out to eat sometimes and choosing smaller/cheaper things. Water. 

We pay a small fortune for the child to sing about "Fiesta in America" on Columbus Day. 

I'm hopeful that if we can just keep doing what we're doing, and not get too caught up in wanting/needing (which is super difficult for me to do, I'm the first to admit), we'll someday be able to look back on the two-children-in-daycare years as a distant memory of those days when the last week of the month meant ramen noodles and frantically checking the bank account hoping paychecks were deposited. (Okay, so it hasn't been that dire in a couple months ;) We're getting better!). Then maybe next year at this time, we'll be in a better place financially and we'll be able to sell this house and buy a new one. That kernel of hope better not go anywhere.