"This above all - to refuse to be a victim."
Margaret Atwood
Margaret Atwood
I read a blog today that reminded me of some important things that I often forget. So here are some open notes to myself, thanks to one of the people who taught me clinical therapy skills. Some reminders.
First, you have time for what you want to have time for.
Second, you can afford what you want to afford.
Think about it.
Can it possibly be true, you ask? What about that big list of things I want but don't have? What about how busy I am and how I just don't have enough hours in the day?
It's true, I say.
But what about people with very limited means? We can't be saying that this applies to everyone, right? Right?
Well, actually, I believe it really does. My colleagues and I bristled at the idea when we first discussed it in relation to helping clients empower themselves. We came up with argument after argument - the client can't afford the $5/hour therapy fee, can he? The client is just too busy to practice the things we need her to practice outside of therapy to get better. It helped us as therapists too, to talk about the victim versus empowered person. We learned how easily we can give up on clients if we play into the victim game. Our professor told us that if a client decides that therapy is important enough, he will have the money and the time for therapy. Maybe he'll skip lunch. Maybe she'll rearrange other commitments. You have time for the things you want to have time for. You can afford what you want to afford.
I've seen men and women with turned out pockets find a way to do what they need to do. I've seen them take the bus and make transfers for hours to get to an appointment, and greet me with a smile and gratitude that they could be there. It's humbling. It's a good reminder for everyone in these (relatively) tough economic times.
It doesn't mean that life is always easy. But it takes away the option of digging the rut of victimization even deeper.
Go forth and choose.
First, you have time for what you want to have time for.
Second, you can afford what you want to afford.
Think about it.
Can it possibly be true, you ask? What about that big list of things I want but don't have? What about how busy I am and how I just don't have enough hours in the day?
It's true, I say.
But what about people with very limited means? We can't be saying that this applies to everyone, right? Right?
Well, actually, I believe it really does. My colleagues and I bristled at the idea when we first discussed it in relation to helping clients empower themselves. We came up with argument after argument - the client can't afford the $5/hour therapy fee, can he? The client is just too busy to practice the things we need her to practice outside of therapy to get better. It helped us as therapists too, to talk about the victim versus empowered person. We learned how easily we can give up on clients if we play into the victim game. Our professor told us that if a client decides that therapy is important enough, he will have the money and the time for therapy. Maybe he'll skip lunch. Maybe she'll rearrange other commitments. You have time for the things you want to have time for. You can afford what you want to afford.
I've seen men and women with turned out pockets find a way to do what they need to do. I've seen them take the bus and make transfers for hours to get to an appointment, and greet me with a smile and gratitude that they could be there. It's humbling. It's a good reminder for everyone in these (relatively) tough economic times.
It doesn't mean that life is always easy. But it takes away the option of digging the rut of victimization even deeper.
Go forth and choose.
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