Loaf of Love

Maybe February?

2012-01-27T21:09:00.002-05:00

Okay so my new goal is to make it to February. Not that I would particularly mind if Dos decided to make a move before then (hint, hint little baby)... but because it gives me a goal.

When I was in L&D on Wednesday night, my contractions were really quite regular. Not super strong or every four minutes or anything, but regular. Since then, not so much. I'm still having contractions, but I only had like 3 during my NST this morning. They're pretty inconsistent. Some are a bit stronger than others, but I can talk through all of them.

What I hope is my last 24-hour urine screen for a very very very long time resulted in normal protein levels, so that is good. And the amniotic fluid index was 11, which is higher than it was last week. Also good.

For today, then, all signs point to labor happening on its own and in its own time. Next week I have appointments on Monday and Thursday. I'm hoping that they let me go to work on Tuesday, because it's the final day of a reading foundations training I've been really enjoying and that would at least distract me for a bit!

Some excitement!

2012-01-26T09:31:00.002-05:00

Top line is Dos's heartbeat. Bottom line is measuring contractions.

Last night we had an adventure! At about 7 PM, I took my blood pressure at home as I usually do in the evenings when I'm winding down a bit. I had a particularly high reading (in the 150/100 range) and thought hmmmm this is not good. So I laid on my left side, drank some water, and relaxed for an hour or so before taking another reading. The second one was even higher! Boo hiss! At that point I had to call the doctor because the rule they gave me was that I had to call if I had two high readings.

Thankfully, it was the suuuuper calm and low-intervention resident on duty last night! I kinda felt bad because they don't have to be at the hospital unless they have a patient in labor, and she was at home when I called (and I secretly know she's pregnant because another doc let it slip one day), but then I suppose it's her job and all... so I didn't feel too badly. Anyhow, she told me that since I haven't really had labs done since late December I should go ahead and meet her at the hospital to get labs and monitoring.

Commence the frantic last-minute packing! I've had about 80% of our stuff packed for a while, but not all the little last-minute toiletries and electronics and such, so we had to get that all together. Jonathan called Adrian to get Evelyn for the night, since we weren't sure if we'd be staying at the hospital and didn't want to take her all the way to Cary where she'll be staying with a friend when I go into labor for real. So we got that all arranged and off we went. The doc later told us it took about an hour for us to get to the hospital from the time we called.

Once we were there, I got hooked up to the fetal monitor and they also measured my contractions. I had a med lock (IV port) put in so they could get blood and so that if we needed to stay for induction, they wouldn't have to stick me again. And then we waited and waited and waited.

In the end, the lab results all looked good so right now I don't have pre-eclampsia! Hooray! I do have gestational hypertension, but there are different protocols for that so they don't have to induce just because of it. My pressure went down while I was at the hospital. They also said that I'm having pretty regular contractions, but they're not really painful. I'm 3 cm, 40% effaced, and -1 station. So this is early labor. Now you can be in early labor for like a week without it turning to active labor.

They sent us home around 2 AM with my jug for another 24-hour urine screen. I'm going to be an expert at those. And I'll head back to the hospital first thing in the morning to take that to the lab and have a non-stress test and amniotic fluid index done. If that all goes well, they'll have me go back in on Monday to see the doctor and we'll just keep watching and waiting. I'm banned from going in to work because of the distance (and it's not really feasible to collect my urine at work all day...) but I can work from home with my feet up so I'll try to get something accomplished.

But I'm excited that the option is still there for me to go into active labor on my own! Maybe I'll take a little walk today to see if that does anything too!

Troll Feet

2012-01-24T21:17:00.002-05:00

That's Jonathan's new nickname for me.

No pictures for you, eager readers. For the first time that I can remember, I can officially say that I have cankles.

I'm 38 weeks pregnant today, and Dr. not-so-nervous said that all is looking good. As a result, there was no need to schedule the induction that Dr. Nervous said we'd need to schedule. I go back in for a non-stress test and amniotic fluid index on Friday and in the meantime... we wait! At this point any big changes (repeated high BP readings, rapid weight gain, severe headaches, low amniotic fluid, etc. etc.) will lead to induction. So I'm kinda hoping lil' Dos makes his/her move before those symptoms can creep up on me. The idea of a pitocin-free labor is so enticing! But I know that I can make it if I do end up with Pit, too. So we'll be alright.

Not too much longer now!

You might want to come look at this...

2012-01-21T20:22:00.003-05:00

That's what Jonathan said after he went to check on Evelyn once we gave up on naptime today. She was really quiet - I only heard a very small thump that I figured was a dresser drawer closing but of course I thought the worst thing that could mean was some clothes strewn about.

I forgot about the tub of vaseline in the top drawer. Which, clearly, she can reach and open. By the time Jonathan went into her room, the damage had been done and she was just hanging out in bed. The vaseline was returned to its place in the drawer, lid back on and all.

We started by combing out what we could, which was a few paper towels' worth of globs. She also had it all over her face. And then there was the bed, dresser, and worst of all the microfiber rocking chair.

She thought it was all quite funny. Although by the sixth washing and rinsing of her hair in the bath immediately following naptime, she started to lose some of her patience. We gave up on really making an impact with the baking soda/shampoo combo that the internet told us to try - even with all the scrubbing her hair was still coated and the water beaded up on her little toddler skin since she'd rubbed vaseline in all over that too.

The internet told us to try scraping off any goop we could from the chair and then sprinkling cornstarch on it, letting it absorb the oil, and then vacuuming it off. Not so much. We now have a chair with a nice coat of vaseline, topped off with a layer of cornstarch (this is post-vacuuming). Tomorrow we're going to try the little Green Machine we use for cleaning the carpet and see if that helps with the poor chair. And we're going to try some Dawn on Evelyn's hair - as Jonathan said, just like one of those oil spill ducks. Here's hoping it works!

The Stash

2012-01-19T19:52:00.003-05:00

We have been on the receiving end of some serious diaper love over the past two years. First, Jonathan's family threw us a surprise Christmas diaper shower where we got a good initial stock built up. Then Jonathan's mom got us a bunch, I scored a bag full of bumGenius diapers on FreeCycle, and two different friends sent us bonus diapers that weren't working for them. We also got a handful of girly pink diapers from Jonathan's cousin. And if you're talking about useful baby gifts, these diapers are right up there at the top of the heap. They might even tie my all-time favorite - meals after baby is born.

Tonight is the first time I've actually had all of the diapers clean and assembled at once. Usually Evelyn is wearing one of course, and then there's a pail needing washing and a few extras at daycare. But since I hit the 37-weeks pregnant mark we've had E in disposables so I don't have to worry about heading off to the hospital and letting a pail of diapers linger for a week without washing. As such, we were able to do the great diaper inventory of 2012 and we discovered that we have amassed a collection of 48! Most of them are one-size, either all-in-ones or pockets. As you can see, we have almost the full spectrum of colors. I think we could do some work in the purple department. We'll probably be ordering a few more, since we have to send at least 5 to school per day for each kid (laws require them to change diapers at least every 2 hours), and because infants can use up to like 10 per day if I remember right?

But it's pretty cool to see them all clean and organized and ready for more... pee and poop. :) They're going to be working hard for both kiddos over the next year or so (I'm in no rush to potty train while simultaneously trying to convince myself to finish the dissertation, so apologies to Evelyn if I'm doing something weird to her development).

37 Weeks!

2012-01-17T19:41:00.002-05:00

I probably should take a new belly photo at some point, but to be perfectly honest with you, my decent clothes come off the instant I walk in the door and I'm rocking a tank top and yoga pants, often with a bit of belly poking out, from about 5:30 PM onward. Not exactly photo-ready.

Anyhow, we've made it! Baby Dos is officially full-term as of today, and I am a happy camper. Now if we can make it 5 more days, little Dos will have cooked for longer than Evelyn did and will, perhaps, be just that much stronger and ready to take on the task of nursing from the get-go!

Dr. Nervous was his usual self this morning, although I was happy to report that my blood pressure was a respectable 118/87 when I took it at home before heading to the office, and when they took it there it was also good! He was happy with this news. He said I was measuring at about 38 weeks, he didn't see a need to do a cervical exam (OH HAPPY DAY), and he only got tripped up for a moment when he asked me about my pain management plan. When I told him I plan to avoid any drugs, he gave me a skeptical look and then I explained Evelyn's birth and he said, "That's commendable." So we'll see what he thinks. I like working with the residents because I feel like many (most?) of them do not often see low-intervention births, so I hope I can show them that yes, doctor, the female body is incredible and designed to give birth. Fingers crossed that Dos's arrival is as good as Evelyn's was. And if I could do it without pitocin or mag sulfate?! Be still my heart.

Dos passed the non-stress test with flying colors and we were sent on our merry way. On Friday I go in for a biophysical profile, which involves a non-stress test combined with an ultrasound to obtain an amniotic fluid index. Or, as doc wrote on his note, I'll have an AFI/NST. Thanks to Wikipedia for clearing up the doctor jargon. If things continue to look good, then we'll just take it day by day from here on out. Back to the doctor a week from today, an ultrasound again the following Friday, and so on and so forth.

I am probably romanticizing the idea of going into labor naturally, but I do think it would be exciting. The element of surprise! If I don't go on my own, provided everything still looks good with baby and with my health, they said they will still induce between 39 and 40 weeks. I'm going to try for like 39 weeks, 6 days and see what they say. Or I might go with February 2nd or 3rd so Jonathan has the weekend off and doesn't have to take as much time from work... not sure yet. But we do have to go ahead and get it on the schedule at next week's 38-week appointment.

So that's all the news for now! Time for me to get back to work... or resting...

Today

2012-01-16T20:03:00.004-05:00

Evelyn and I had the day off school today for Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. We took full advantage. I was really looking forward to a special day with my girl, as I don't know how many more of them we will get before Dos arrives!

E started the day off right munching on some red berry flax frozen waffles (the flax makes frozen waffles a healthy option, right?) while I busied myself hand-scrubbing the mountains of dishes that had somehow piled up in the kitchen since Christmas. (Jonathan is the designated kitchen cleaner, and Christmas was when his mom was here and she did his job for him... it hadn't really been done since. And if you're reading this, Jonathan, I do love you very much. But I also wish you'd clean the kitchen.) Anyway, I was determined to get the dishes clean because our fancy-pants dishwasher was going to be installed today!

Cut to 20 minutes later, when the delivery people call to let me know that they are not, in fact, coming today. Womp womp. At that point I was too invested to just stop cleaning, so onward I went. Evelyn was being a model almost-two-year-old and singing to her Baby.

Finally, the dishes were pretty much done and we were free to get dressed and ready for our fun day! I had big plans. Lunch with daddy and then possibly Pullen Park to ride the carousel and train? So we were off.

Stop taking my picture and just give me the camera!

Evelyn is enjoying life as a forward-facing passenger ever since this past weekend. She's not two yet, and I really wanted to let her go rear-facing until she maxed out the rear-facing allowances for her carseat since it's safer that way, but alas neither of our cars would allow two rear-facing seats and still accommodate Jonathan in the driver's seat. So Baby Dos will be rear-facing and Evelyn is now facing forward. She really doesn't seem to care either way. I think it's a little easier to load and unload her.

We walked around and stared at people at Jonathan's office (Evelyn takes a while to warm up, so while everyone said hi to her, she just started at them) and then headed to our favorite lunch spot, Neo Asia.

I wish that one wasn't so blurry - she adores her dad as you can see. She also adores wonton soup, and she knows what to do when the fortune cookies come.

After lunch we dropped off Jonathan at work and decided it was probably time to head home for a nap before we began our next adventure. This is where mommy's plans fell apart a bit. E passed out for about 15 minutes in the car before we got home, and then once we were home she decided that continuing naptime was out of the question. Apparently it was a really good 15 minutes of sleep!

I disagreed with her plan and tried to reason with her, snuggle, sing, rock, read, lay next to her and read my book... she was having none of it. So I moved on to plan B - nest. Evelyn helped me locate all the boxes of baby clothes and stuff, which I did have boxed and in the garage or attic but not at all labeled or clearly organized. It took a while, but we worked our way through it all and pulled out what I wanted to get for the first few months of Baby Dos's life - neutral teeny tiny baby clothes, blankets and swaddlers, pumping stuff and bottles... soon it'll all be folded and organized and ready.

Evelyn and I hung out, danced a little, played, folded laundry, chased the dog... nothing super exciting or unusual, but it was a good day. When Jonathan got home from work, we had dinner and then he got her into her jammies and they snuggled in bed and watched an episode of Thomas, which is a new daddy-daughter treat that allows Jonathan to play with his Kindle.

Now E is in bed, Jonathan is resting up and feeling about 75% good after his stomach bug yesterday, and I'm getting ready to possibly finish my new book (a reward for making it to full-term) instead of doing the work stuff I probably should be doing.

Tomorrow morning is the big 37-week appointment with Dr. Nervous! I'll fill you in all the details ASAP.

The Kidlets' Room

2012-01-15T14:25:00.007-05:00

I'm slowly trying to transform Evelyn's room into Evelyn and Baby Dos's room. We really didn't do much to it while it was Evelyn's anyhow - it was painted yellow (like the rest of the house) when we moved in, so we left that and added some furniture and a light fixture Abby made and that was it.

Looking at those early pictures now, I must say I'm impressed. Because currently the room is not looking quite so put together...

I moved the crib into the closet, and it fits pretty well. It sticks out a little bit, but it's a cozy little crib nook overall. At some point I'll get around to painting the inside of the nook. It's going to be a sort of cinnamon orange color to go with (but not match exactly) the "Dot Fun" fabric that you can see on the crib skirt there. Those are kinda the colors that the room is going to be decorated around. The main walls in the room will one day go from yellow to a cool white, so that the room doesn't scream YELLOWYELLOWYELLOW as a result of the combination of yellow walls and a light fixture that turns things a little yellow (it's paper lanterns).

I'm also planning to put a curtain rod up over the crib nook, and then I'll have white curtains on either side that I'm going to liven up with a stripe of Dot Fun fabric transplanted from a pair of short curtains in that print that I got before Evelyn was born. Those curtains used to be on the window in the kidlets' room, but I've put long white curtains on that window now too. I'll liven them up the same way at some point, with a stripe of Dot Fun fabric. I also bought a Dot Fun shower curtain just to have more of the fabric, and my plans for that involve making some throw pillows and possibly upholstering the box springs of Evelyn's bed with it... We'll see.

Oh I also have this decal to go in the crib nook. I have it in white so it'll stand out on the cinnamon wall:

So those are the plans at least. I'll keep you updated if I make any progress!

As for Baby Dos's impending arrival, I'm feeling NOT READY! I have two reports to finish up for work, that whole dissertation thing for school (not happening before baby comes, by the way), packing to finish, the house to clean so I don't come home from the hospital and feel compelled to clean... Oh and I'm supposed to be resting in the hopes of keeping baby cooking for as long as possible. Riiiight.

On Tuesday I will be considered full term at 37 weeks. I see Dr. Nervous (not his real name) in the morning, followed by my first non-stress test. We'll see what he says! Evelyn as born at 37 weeks and 4 days, so my new goal is to make it to January 22nd so Baby Dos will have longer to incubate than Evelyn did. It will all just depend on how I'm doing I suppose. E was knocked out all day Friday with an icky stomach bug and Jonathan has it today, so fingers crossed that I don't get that. It could complicate things if I am suddenly super sick!

Goodbye Larry

2012-01-13T18:50:00.002-05:00

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death.
- Robert Fulgham -

Jonathan's cousin Larry passed away this week, just days shy of his 50th birthday, after a year-long fight with cancer. We are sad to miss the celebration of his life with friends and family this weekend, but are thinking of everyone all the time. So grateful to have been able to visit when we could, and to have so many memories of Larry. Godspeed.

An update!

2012-01-03T15:51:00.001-05:00

No news is good news. Actually, the doctor calling to say that the blood and other tests were all fine is good news. So, onward! Baby Dos gets to keep inhabiting the warm and comfy womb, and I get to keep getting work done. It's a win-win for now!

This month

2012-01-02T18:36:00.002-05:00

... we'll (most likely) be meeting Baby Dos!

I met a new doc today and he was a bit more nervous than the other two I've seen so far (I rotate among three residents, one of whom will be there for Dos's birth). I liked him because he DID NOT USE A LAPTOP and he asked me lots of questions. I liked him a little less because he wanted to do all sorts of tests and interventions, including a cervical exam, to which I said thanks but no thanks. Actually, I said hmmmm and he went and talked to his attending and came back and said he didn't have to do it after all. But here's the latest news for everyone following along:

- 35 weeks tomorrow! Yay! This is not full term and I would like to let little Dos keep cooking as long as possible, but I'm happy for every extra week we get.

- Doc ordered a different kind of urine spot test today, after we discussed the difficulties associated with me doing another 24-hour urine screen at this point (I'd basically have to take the day off work to do it). This new test is supposed to be more accurate than the simple dip test that my doc did right before, the one that they followed with the 24-hour test because the dip test is not super accurate. The new test involves calculating a ratio of protein to creatinine, which is less accurate than the 24-hour test but more accurate than the simple protein dipstick test for measuring protein output. At least this is what I have gathered from what the doc and wikipedia tell me.

- Doc also ordered my group B strep test. I was negative for this with Evelyn (yay) and hope to be again. If it's positive, it means they will need to give me IV antibiotics throughout labor.

- Finally, I also had some blood drawn to measure my liver functioning and uric acid. Did you know that high levels of uric acid are associated with gout? Now you know! They're measuring my acid as another indicator of toxemia (pre-eclampsia), because if the levels are high it means that yet again my kidneys are sleeping on the job. They also don't want my liver to shut down or anything. Yet again, organs shutting down is never good.

So tomorrow morning I should hear back on the test results and we'll go from there. I have an appointment scheduled for Friday morning, and I'm getting an ultrasound scheduled soon just to verify baby's growth and position should they need to think about induction in the next few weeks. They do think Dos is vertex (head down) now though!

In the meantime, I'm feeling fine and Dos seems to be happy and healthy in there. My blood pressure is rising a little but it's always below the dreaded 140/90 mark when I take it at home, and we verified that my home cuff gives almost identical readings to the cuffs at the doc's office today. So I told them I just need to stop going to the doctor and my pressure will be just fine, thank you!

Now... it's back to work tomorrow and I'm suddenly feeling the need to get on top of bag packing and nesting!

Christmas

2011-12-30T18:55:00.009-05:00

We kicked off the Christmas festivities on December 16th, with Evelyn's school Christmas show. It was, as I said to Jonathan 984 times, adorable. All the classes did a different song/skit and then Santa made an appearance to give out some early Christmas toys to all the kids.

Evelyn's class, Las Mariquitas, sang "Rudolfo el Reno." Her teachers were sure that she would just love it, as they'd been practicing at school for weeks and they said Evelyn was all about the singing and dancing.

When it came to be showtime, though...

We had a sad little reindeer on our hands. She made it through almost the whole song before running over for some comfort from mom.

She (predictably) wanted nothing to do with sitting on Santa's lap, but she let her dad accept a toy from the big man and then all was right with the world because she had her very own set of Hot Wheels!

After the show, we zipped over to the Museum of Life and Science, where we met up with Adrian, Abby, and Linus for our first experience on the Santa Train! It was chilly and rainy, which is perfect for a winter activity.

After warming up with some hot chocolate, we boarded our train and saw Santa. Twice in one day! He tried to get Evelyn to give him a high five, but she mostly just started with some skepticism in her eye. What can I say? She comes by it honestly. My first job ever was as Santa's Elf at the mall in Wichita and I'll be the first to tell you that Santa was one creeeeeeeepy man. But I'm trying to keep the innocence alive for Evelyn. We'll see if she warms up to him next year.

After a few more days of work/school for us (topped off by a three-hour IEP meeting which was interrupted by a fire alarm - not drill, but real alarm with trucks at the school and all while we waited out in the rain), it was finally time for Christmas break!

MeeMaw and Pop Pop arrived, and soon the big day was here.

Evelyn received an abundance of gifts, including the kitchen above and run-bike below. She also loves all her new books!

Speaking of books, Terry and I were the only adult Bartels in attendance who did not receive some sort of Kindle device this year. Even Linus got a little Leap-pad tablet, so it was funny to look around on Christmas day and see everyone plugged in. I'm contemplating asking for a Kindle for my birthday, now that I've seen them in person, but we'll see!

I also have a magnificent photo of Evelyn screaming and crying on Santa's lap, but I need to scan it so just bear with me and I'll try to post it here soon.

----------------------------

In Baby Dos news, there are some exciting updates. Such as: I don't have pre-eclampsia right now! And, Baby Dos is transverse! And, if lil' Dos is breech/transverse in a couple more weeks, that doesn't mean an automatic c-section because they'll try aversion (turning baby from the outside) first. Hooray! I'm going to the doctor weekly now, but so far they're holding off on having me come in extra for ultrasounds or Non-Stress Tests because even though my blood pressure is creeping up a little bit, it's still not technically hypertension/pre-eclampsia. So no additional monitoring/intervention is necessary at this point. All of this is good good good. Now we just hope things remain the same and little Dos can stay put for at least a few more weeks. I haven't even started painting the nursery and I'm just starting the hunt for a twin bed for Evelyn!

The Best Laid Plans

2011-12-23T14:21:00.003-05:00

Did you notice how determined I've been to wait until February to meet Baby Dos? Was anyone thinking quietly to themselves, "Umm, I'm not sure that's entirely in her control?"

You WERE?

You didn't TELL ME?

Well, it's looking more and more like we'll have a January baby this time around. Although I've been diligently monitoring my blood pressure at home every day, the past few times I've gone to the doc my blood pressure has been creeping up. I'm now on the baby aspirin regimen and I just finished up a 24-hour urine collection. I did one for a baseline at the very start of this pregnancy, so now the docs can compare the two numbers and see how things are looking. In my last spot-check, there was a trace amount of protein in the urine, and that's the culprit. If you spill protein into your urine, it's a sign that team kidney isn't doing its job, and when organs aren't doing their jobs doctors start to get all antsy.

So I've re-read all the research and it's true that there's really good evidence that the best thing to do for severe pre-eclampsia is to induce labor at full-term (or as late as you can possibly wait, depending on the severity of the pre-eclampsia). That's 37 weeks, or January 17th. And that, my friends, is my new goal: make it to January 17th. As much as I do want a 40-weeker because I think those extra weeks do matter for development, if I can get to full-term with these concerns already cropping up (right now I'm at 33 weeks), I'll take it.

Now, there is much to be done between now and mid-January, so I should go. I'll keep you updated though! Baby Gideon is coming soon! (I've decided to be convinced it's a boy and Jonathan is therefore rooting for a girl.)

I have measured out my life... in semesters.

2011-12-14T16:52:00.004-05:00

Just a little unrelated pancake on head balancing action at Elmo's...

Well, we've reached the end of another semester. The possibility exists that I might only have one more semester of school... although I'm slowly coming around to the fact that, due to circumstances beyond my control as well as a few things within my control, I might not actually graduate until August (in which case I'd walk in December, not May). We'll see. The mini quiche and champagne will be present no matter when I walk, and yes I will indeed make someone call me doctor. Some days that's just about all that gets me through the muck of dissertation world. Champagne, mini quiche, and those three little letters.

It's been a good semester. I've discovered that I really do love the job I hope to have. I learn things every day. I'm challenged every day. I come home tired and sometimes stressed, but I'm always ready to go back the next morning. Being an intern has allowed me to start to see how everything I've learned can be applied, and it's really been incredible to see things like RTI in practice. I'm learning about good instruction, the bureaucracy of the school system, test result interpretation, federal and state laws for exceptional children... so much learning. I've even been able to pull from the ol' clinical psych toolbox for in an especially difficult situation. I'm getting more comfortable discussing evaluation results with parents and teachers, always with the hope that what I'm saying makes sense and can be used in some way to help how these significant adults interact with the kid. I've found some better prizes to give to kids who work hard with me for hours in evaluation or intervention sessions. I ask a million questions in supervision. So much learning. I love it.

Jonathan's been working hard and it wouldn't be possible for me to be doing this internship without him. He is responsible for all morning duties with getting Evelyn up and ready for school, and he does school pickup too so he has to be on top of communication from home to school. He makes it all look easy, of course. But I am so appreciative. It's really going to be a whole family effort to get me across that graduation stage, whenever that day arrives.

Let's hope for just one more semester. Right now I feel like that's just about all I have left in me!

Missing the Good Ol' Days

2011-12-12T22:29:00.002-05:00

When I was pregnant with Evelyn, you might remember me going on and on about my love for the Birth Center, a local place staffed by midwives and affiliated with, but not technically part of, UNC Hospitals. I loved my care there. Unfortunately, I risked out of seeing them for this second pregnancy. I understand, but I still miss them.

They set aside 30 minutes per appointment. That's 30 minutes of actual face time with the midwife. Now that I'm at a large hospital-ish family practice, I'd say I see the resident for maybe 10 minutes tops per appointment. The rest of the time is spent twiddling my thumbs and reading the latest news in diabetic foot care and smoking cessation studies in the exam room.

This'll make me sound old and grumpy, but what is it with doctors and laptops these days?! The Birth Center somehow survived without everyone carrying around a laptop, plunking it down in front of you, and incessantly typing in every response you give to whatever questions the computer is prodding them to ask. Oh laptops and doctors, I do not like this combination. I know it's probably nice that all that info. is in some easily-accessible database, but when you're turning to type in your laptop for a good portion of the 10 minutes we spend together, I'm seething behind my cooperative good patient smile.

The cost structure of the Birth Center was something to be admired. We miss it now that we get big fat bills every time I have to have a blood test. We paid so little for prenatal care with Evelyn... you'd think insurance companies would just love midwife-based care and do what they can to promote it for more people!

Oh, hospitalish red tape... I get computer-generated paper appointment reminders mailed to me before every appointment. They take up 2-3 printed pages to give me this information. The Birth Center just called the day before to remind me. And getting lab results from my current practice takes some work. Like multiple calls and emails and reminders when I'm there in person that yes, I actually do want to know and record for myself my vital signs, baby's heart rate, my baseline and most current protein screen results, my glucose test results, etc. This is my body and my money and I'm not trying to be a doctor (well not that kind at least), but I want to be informed and involved in my care. Mmmm kay?

So I'm sure I'll keep comparing the types of care I've gotten for pregnancies and at least it's been a learning exercise. I'm working on being more assertive and making sure I get what I need even if it's not how this practice is used to doing things. I think I'm just a natural birth, midwife-loving person at heart so this experience has been philosophically different. But in the end I'll still have labor and delivery and you know that's my favorite part. And we'll have a doula and our favorite photographer there with us for that so I'll be surrounded not only by the world's best labor coach, Jonathan, but by two strong and supportive women. I can't help but smile thinking about that.

Only 8 weeks to go to reach the goal of 40 weeks! Keep growing strong, little Dos!

31 Weeks

2011-12-08T21:51:00.002-05:00

I put on makeup and heels for the second time in 31 weeks, so I thought it warranted a picture. I'm standing where our Christmas tree will stand whenever we get around to getting one. Tonight we headed out to Jonathan's company Christmas party, which included a dinner and dessert buffet full of delicious food. Pregnant Chelsea was in paradise! And even better, the party went from 7 to 9 PM on the dot so I got home before my bedtime.

Baby Dos seems to be doing great! I asked the doc to let me keep coming every 6-11 weeks and she agreed to 4 week intervals but then her attending said no no I need to come every 2 weeks. Silly late pregnancy rules. I did a glucose challenge test on Monday and haven't heard back about that so maybe I'm lucky and only have to do it once this time?! That would be wonderful.

Mama said there'd be days like this...

2011-12-07T19:02:00.002-05:00

6:00 - Wake up. Don't give self the option of staying in bed. Teeth, clothes, ponytail, go.

6:15 - Prius is parked in front of Fit in the driveway. No time for this! Back out on the grass, bypassing the Fit because I'm short on time and need to get to school early to do a reading intervention with a kiddo.

6:16 - Fuel light is on.

6:25 - Stop at gas station on the way to work. Realize I've left my wallet at home. Turn around.

6:45 - Stop at another gas station, after retrieving wallet. Abandon all hope of arriving at work in time to read with kiddo as promised. Vow not to speed to make up lost time, as a ticket would only make things worse.

8:00 - 3:30 - At work. Actually pretty successful and relatively competent today, which is always a plus.

3:30 - After a good meeting, leave school with a spring in my step. I'll get home in time to cook a decent dinner for the family!

3:35 - Call Jonathan and discuss buying a breastpump that is on sale for today only at a local store. Determine that we can use our health savings account to do so, and the savings is worth the extra trip it'll take me to stop by his work to grab our HSA debit card since I lost mine before I ever even activated it... But that's another story.

4:45 - Get the card from Jonathan and head to the store to procure pump, which they're holding for me. It's the last one in stock for the sale price!

5:30 - Arrive at shop. Curse the pouring rain and everyone's horrible driving, and the GPS for taking me to some random field and calling it my destination thus forcing me to figure out how to get there all by myself.

5:40 - Card declined. Run back to the car in the pouring rain to call Jonathan, as phone is dead and will only work if plugged into the running car. Ask Jonathan what is going on. Decide to call card company to get our balance. Call them. Balance is well over what the pump costs. Ask to talk to a real person, and phone cuts out right when someone answers after I've been on hold. Give up on that route and decide to see if the store will try to run it again.

5:45 - Card declined for a second time. Try, in vain, to explain to the lady that I really do have money in the account, I swear. Ask if they take checks - they do! And alas, our HSA checkbook is at home. Kind lady takes pity on me and says they'll hold it through tomorrow at the sale price.

6:30 - Arrive home. All is better once I get to snuggle my curly-headed Mouse and Jonathan makes some delicious comfort food (creamed chipped beef on toast) for dinner.

So there are my first-world problems for ya. Just one of those long days. But in the end it's alright. We're going to pick up the pump tomorrow on our way to Jonathan's company Christmas party. Good, efficient pumps are just ridiculously expensive but luckily they're often covered by health accounts and sometimes health insurance will even give you a break on the price (not our plan, but check yours if you're in the market)!

Two months from today, Baby Dos is due! Let's keep our fingers crossed that (s)he stays in the oven for the full 40 weeks because there is so much to do between now and then!

Thanksgiving

2011-11-26T12:20:00.006-05:00

We had a double dose of Thanksgiving this year, spending Thursday with Adrian and Abby and Friday through Saturday morning at Amy and Josh's. Now we're home recovering from all the fun, and I'm baking a pumpkin pie and wishing we had hosted a dinner so I could eat leftovers!

Evelyn thoroughly enjoyed herself this year. She seemed to like turkey, but wanted nothing to do with mashed potatoes. Who says no to mashed potatoes?! Of course she was happy to eat as much zwieback as she could get her hands on, and all the cookies and pie.

We had fun playing with Linus and Madeline and Julia (no pictures taken at their place - dead batteries are to blame).

And, of course, we ate and ate and ate. Though I will say that I'm not a huge fan of my shrunken stomach thanks to Baby Dos. I could not stuff myself with nearly as much tasty food as I had hoped! I think next year will be my best year ever for Thanksgiving, because for the past three turkey days I've either been pregnant and pukey or I've had mono. So watch out, turkeys of 2012. I will eat you!

Crafty

2011-11-20T13:48:00.005-05:00

I've been working with Evelyn to create this year's batch of Christmas cards. I figured we'd better get an early start on the project, since I have a pretty awful track record with mailing things out on time. Perhaps this will be the year! And if not, well... at least you know I was working on it well in advance!

We are getting really excited for the holiday season to kick off this week! I only have to work two days and then I'm free to enjoy the company of our little NC family contingent. Jonathan's parents are coming out for Christmas so we get to stay put for both holidays this year. We'll miss seeing all the Kansas family and friends, but it will be nice to not worry about traveling.

We hope you're all doing well and finding peace and joy as we head into the holidays!

Can't afford to work?

2011-11-11T17:28:00.002-05:00

I know, I'm such a Debbie Downer in blogland these days. But seriously, there is some crazy stuff happening in public education. And it's all well and good to learn about it from an academic perspective, but when you're in it every day it can start to make your head spin.

Like how we have really good data to show that how we educate English language learners is almost completely ineffective and if they succeed academically, they are doing so in spite of what we're doing to them.

And how we have evidence that class size matters and kids will do better if classes are smaller... yet one of the first targets when there are budget cuts is to cut support staff and increase class size. I have a teacher friend in Kansas who had kids sitting on the floor of her first-grade classroom because there were not enough desks (nor room to accommodate them) until the superintendent finally came to visit the school a few weeks into the school year and they found a way to split the class and get another teacher.

And then there's the salary issue. We hear about teachers being underpaid. I think we hear it so much that it's just accepted. But seriously. It's ridiculous.

In my fair state we have a salary schedule for all public school employees. It's something that I guess the state legislature issues every year, and it has grids specifying exactly how much public school employees will make based on highest degree/credentials earned and years of experience. Then there are local "supplements" which are sort of bonuses that school districts can tack onto the state-approved salary to sweeten the deal for school staff in their districts. But the supplements aren't guaranteed or mandated, so if the district is short on cash, guess what you don't get?

Yesterday I took a break from report-writing to revisit the state salary schedule now that I'm months away from graduation and the prospect of having an actual job is becoming more real. Big mistake. It zapped all motivation and sent me into panic mode.

Why? Because when I match up my degree and years of experience under the little "School Psychologist" column of the pay schedule, I find that my salary will just barely cover what it will cost to have two little munchkins in daycare full-time. As in, we'll have like one c-note leftover from my salary. And we're looking at upwards of $600/month to pay off my student loans. So me getting a job will net us -$500 per month.

Fan. tas. tic.

We've discussed some things so far...

1. Chelsea doesn't work. Because really, I'm not going to work a stressful job with long hours and not see my kids just to net $100 per month. But then again, I really like our daycare. And I don't know that I'm cut out to be a full-time stay at home mom. I like working. I want to work in the public schools. As a school psychologist. I really do. If I can afford to.

If I don't work, and we do income-based repayment of my student loans, our household income would be lower than it would if I also had a job so our required payments would be lower. Like maybe in the we could afford to pay them range.

2. Chelsea tries to find a job in the private sector, where the pay and opportunity for advancement might be better.

For now, we're leaning toward option two. But I'll keep my fingers crossed that somehow, one day, I can afford to work in the public school system. I really love it there.

One of those weeks.

2011-11-04T18:30:00.003-04:00

Shew... Glad this week is over. It's been nuts, for every reason and no reason. I feel like I'm balancing at the apex of a steep little triangle (oh, hi RTI slipping into my every thought again). I'm trying to balance everything. You know, the same old list. Internship. Dissertation. Parenting. Staying on top of laundry at least enough that Jonathan has clean if not wrinkled work pants and I have underwear. Keeping the animals fed and pooping outside rather than inside. Eating with some semblance of care for the wee one trying to grow in there...

I succeeded at some of these things this week.

Others, not so much.

Something has to give, and generally the first thing to go is Chelsea's sanity. So today the only way I could explain it to Jonathan was by relaying this brilliant quote from Tina Fey's Bossypants, which pretty much sums up my life right now (mild profanity warning for the faint of heart... come on, it's Tina Fey):

What is the worst question you can ask a woman? "How old are you?" "What do you weigh?" "When you and your twin sister are alone with Mr. Hefner, do you have to pretend to be lesbians?" No, the worst question is "How do you juggle it all?"

"How do you juggle it all?" people constantly ask me, with an accusatory look in their eyes.

"You're fucking it all up, aren't you?" their eyes say.

And sometimes, the answer to that is probably yes.

Here's to a better next week!

Halloween

2011-11-01T19:01:00.003-04:00

This is the only picture I have of her in costume. I might have to stage some costume pics this weekend to make up for that... (And thanks Abby and Adrian for taking this one!)

Well... we tried! Evelyn and Jonathan usually get home around 6, and it's time to sit down for dinner, play a little, brush teeth, get into jammies, read, sing, and sleep by 7 at the latest. That's not us forcing her to go to sleep by any means - the kid is exhausted by 7 PM. So when trick-or-treating started around 6:30, you can guess what a tired toddler thought of the whole thing.

We went out with Linus, Adrian, and Abby this year and Linus did his best to show Evelyn the ropes but she was pretty shy about everything. Eventually, with coaxing from all the adults and Linus, she was able to walk up to a few houses and get some candy. But by the end of the evening she was ready to collapse.

Her favorite part? Watching Linus, of course! She mostly wanted to be carried by me or Adrian, and she would just stare and wait for Linus the mummy to come back from his many trips to and from houses. When she spotted him returning, she'd get her giant smile and start to giggle. We visited for a bit at their house after the trick-or-treating was through and Evelyn was content to shuffle around the house in her PJs and laugh at everything Linus did. I love seeing how much she loves him, and how he'll do tricks and show her cool big kid stuff.

So that was Evelyn's second Halloween. Next year I think she'll have more of a feel for what it's all about. And by that I mean she'll be able to score more candy for mom. ;)

Toddler Update

2011-10-16T11:08:00.005-04:00

Frantically signing "please" upon remembering that the candy corn garland is made from real candy!

Evelyn's new favorite activity is dressing herself. She can put on many of her shoes (anything with velcro), and she can get shirts over her head and sometimes figure out the arm holes too. If she remembers that pants go on her legs rather than her arms, she's pretty good at getting those on, too, though she can't quite pull them up to her waist yet. But she really loves to dress herself. And her parents are pretty impressed with her adaptive skills.

She's still sporting just 4 front teeth (2 center top and 2 center bottom) and 4 molars. She says a few words (agua, ball, quack, poo-poo, uh-oh, mama, dada), and she cannot comprehend the idea that there is a baby in mommy's tummy. Her teacher also told Jonathan that she's generally pretty quiet at school, but she's always the first to wake up from nap and immediately upon waking she starts saying all the words she knows and making noise to try to wake up all her friends. With a mother who was a preschool "Best Nap Award" winner and a father who can sleep anytime, anywhere, we are shocked at this behavior. I guess school is just too fun to sleep through!

Baby Dos: Half Baked!

2011-10-09T13:29:00.005-04:00

... Okay so I'm actually coming up on the 23-week mark with this pregnancy. Time flies when you're interning/dissertating/mothering and trying to keep the vomit at bay!

The past week has been a little rough - I've had a cough/cold that won't seem to go away, and Jonathan caught some kind of icky virus that had him puking all day and night for most of the week. I'm very thankful that said virus does not seem to have attacked me or Evelyn yet! But between the two of us we haven't gotten much quality parenting done this week (Nilla wafers for dinner, anyone?), let alone work or housework (surely your temporary inflatable pool is still up in your backyard too?).

But, onward and upward!

Baby Dos is doing great by all accounts. My doc said I'm "just a picture of health" (as I'm sneezing and hacking up lung butter in her office last week) but I think she was referring more to Dos than to me. Here's a belly photo so you can speculate as to Dos's sex based on how I'm carrying. I'd say I'm carrying high but really my torso is only so big... so I don't know that I could ever carry low. And of course we all know that guessing sex based on how one carries is just about 50% accurate. Anyway I feel like I'm carrying high because my belly starts jutting out and I can feel all my organs crammed right up under my chest.

Jonathan might not have noticed that I'm standing in a ray of bright sunshine that looks like it slices my belly in half... sorry about that! I'm also not sure what is happening with my hair here. Ick. I did get it cut and very subtly highlighted, but I haven't done anything but throw it back in a ponytail lately so forgive me for the weirdness ;) Oh and makeup? Pssssh. I haven't touched that in 23 weeks I'm sure.

And here are some pictures from the big 20-week ultrasound where they checked out all the good stuff like Dos's heart and brain and limbs. If things continue to go well, this will be my last ultrasound. Yaaay! Because I'm now on Jonathan's high deductible health insurance plan and I can assure you that ultrasounds are not cheap. (Also, our deductible resets on January 1 so we'll get to pay the exorbitant hospital fees for Dos's birth almost completely out of pocket. Hooray for us... and more motivation to avoid as much medical intervention as possible!)

So, ultrasound pics:

There you have two 3D images of the face. In the top one, baby's left arm is curled up with the hand right by his/her left ear. Cute.

The third one is a profile shot.

And there you have two profiles and the last one is a bottom-up look at both feet.

Now I'm off. Pretty sure Evelyn has coated herself in a layer of peanut butter while Jonathan's been snoring on the couch as I write this.

Do I still snuggle her and cry?

2011-09-27T19:32:00.003-04:00

Yes. Yes I do.

Every semester, I have a terrible awful horrible no good day each week. Sometimes these days are actually quite palatable, but they'll still earn their terrible awful label by virtue of being so. freaking. long. This semester, it's Monday. I get up at 6, skedaddle out of the house by 6:30, hit the road to work, workworkwork, shoot out of there at 4 PM on the dot to drive to Raleigh, and then have a research team meeting from 6 to 7:30. I'm usually there discussing logistics or doing research stuff til a little after 8, which means after the drive back home... I walk in the door at 9 PM. A mere 14.5 hours after leaving that morning. Dark when I leave, dark when I return.

Evelyn asleep when I leave. Evelyn asleep when I return.

Boo hiss.

Ten more Mondays to go this semester. And I will count down every single one.

It's strange preparing to have another baby. I wonder what it will be like. I don't have the big fear of labor and delivery that I had with Evelyn - I'm actually really looking forward to the experience. I try to tell everyone I meet, I swear I'm like a labor and delivery evangelist these days, but seriously! It's incredible! It's life-changing! It's beautiful and funny and empowering! Okay I'll step off the childbirthing soapbox. As I was saying, I don't have that fear. And I'm a little less anxious in general about all of the processes and things involved in teeny baby time like nursing and jaundice and heel pricks and so on.

This time it's more of an anxiety about - I'll say it - loving both of them. I know, every mom will say that you have enough love for as many kids as you have. But when I still snuggle with Evelyn before bed and sing "I See the Moon" and tell her the story of the day she was born, and tears are rolling down my cheeks and I'm holding her tighter, I wonder how on earth there will be enough love for another one. And I don't want to take one ounce of love away from my Mouse. She is amazing. Even when she walks around the house staring at the ceiling and running into walls like she did after dinner tonight.

So I'm not like overly panicked about this love issue, but it's probably the only thing I really spend time dwelling on with regards to little Baby Dos.

On Thursday I'm finally getting my hair professionally managed so I've decided I'll take a "half baked" belly photo for you eager readers then and I can update you with some behind the scenes ultrasound pictures of little Dos as well. Stay tuned!

Droppin' knowledge.

2011-09-16T18:49:00.005-04:00

I'm still a student. Trying to take it all this year, my last official year of studenthood. I'm also an intern, which is like learning in overdrive. Some days my head starts to explode from all the consolidating and "aha" moments and generalizing and trying to remember names, copy codes, where to find lightswitches and bathrooms and pencil sharpeners... But I digress.

I'm interning in an amazing school district in a department that places a high value on professional development and research-based practice. This is not always the state of affairs, and I realize how lucky I am. I have more days of trainings than I can count on my hands just in the first couple months of internship: Intervention Support Team basics and advanced case handling, Responsiveness to Instruction (RTI) team planning with my school, Positive Behavior Interventions and Supports (PBIS), CHAMPS classroom management, Suicide Intervention Training, Crisis Prevention Training, Autism overview, Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule training at TEACCH, PAR's BRIEF/TEC training with developer Peter Isquith... and more. Just remembering all the acronyms is a job in itself.

Anyway, I thought it might be fun to share some shiny nuggets of knowledge here on the blog so I don't forget, and because my dear readers might be interested of course. So here's today's nugget. Executive Functioning.

Executive Functioning is becoming a pretty hot area of research in the neuropsych world these days. I think a good way to conceptualize it, taken directly from Isquith's talk today, is to think of it as the conductor and to think of all of the other tasks of the brain as the symphony. Executive Function is what allows a person to shift attention, to inhibit, to initiate... all of the things you think of a conductor doing for an orchestra so that all of the players work smoothly together. Without the conductor, you have a mess of noise. Without good Executive Functioning, you have an inability to shift attention, sustain attention, inhibit thoughts or behaviors, get going on a task, organize, etc. Which sounds an awful lot like ADHD, right? Yes. Not that poor Executive Functioning equals ADHD, but ADHD does indicate poor Executive Functioning just by its clinical definition.

So why do we care? Because we see kids struggling with Executive Functioning issues all the time. Trouble with transitions or kids who fixate on one thing and can't move to the next - that's something wrong with the ability to shift. Kids who call out, do things they know they shouldn't but can't seem to stop themselves - problems with inhibition. Kids who can't organize or make sense of the world around them, conversation, their backpack or bedroom... yes, it's there too.

Much of the time, we talk about accommodations for Executive Functioning deficits more than we talk about actually changing the EF processes themselves. That's because there's decent evidence that there are some organic (biological) roots to our abilities to inhibit, shift, organize, have good working memory capacity, and all of the other conductor/frontal lobe EF tasks. So we recommend structure, routine, coaching, modeling, and so on. This is the stuff that parents of middle or high schoolers with ADHD listen to and then say, "But he should be doing that on his own by now" (where that = homework, cleaning the room, getting ready in the morning, or any other number of daily tasks). Brain development is different. There's no magic age when EF is developed and ready to go (actually EF skills are still developing until the late 30s).

But there is some really cool research, and this is actually what I wanted to share, regarding EF in preschoolers and how we can help them along in the process of getting that conductor going in their little heads. Most of this research comes from Adele Diamond. She talks about doing a pretty straightforward activity that beautifully taps and stretches many EF areas all at once, and it can be done with some of the shortest ankle-biters among us. Basically, it involves getting kids to plan what they're going to do before they do it. Sounds painful, no? But it's not. It looks like this: dump a box of legos on the table. Preschoolers will immediately start to attack the legos, so you quickly say, "WAIT!" and before they jump in, they have to talk about what their plan, or goal, is. What are they going to make? What do they want to play? What colors or shapes of blocks are they going to get? Bam, you've just tapped inhibition (can the kid stop herself from doing what every impulse is telling her to do - grab legos and go?), shift (switch from what kids are used to - dump and go with toys - to this weird new activity of planning), planning, organization, attention... that little conductor in the mind is growing before your eyes.

So we can work to build and strengthen EF, even in the littlest ones. Pretty cool stuff.

This story from NPR talks about Diamond's work and also gives a nice overview of Tools of the Mind preschools, which are incredible. And make me want to pack up and move just to let my kids go to them.

Goin' to the Lodge.

2011-09-05T19:38:00.005-04:00

Before I start blathering on about our amazing vacation, you should know that I am not being paid to endorse anything. Though, as always, if some Great Wolf someone wants to send me a little thank you in the form of a discount or all-expenses-paid trip back... well... I'm game.

So, we did Labor Day weekend in style this year with a trip to Ikea and then a stay at The Great Wolf Lodge in Concord (just outside Charlotte). Here's what Evelyn thought of the whole thing:

Juuuust kidding, of course. She was more like this most of the time:

She loved it, our little fish. As usual, she started out by walking around in the pool (one of many - we mostly stuck to the smallest kiddie pool) and bending over to put her face in the water. Then she comes up and laughs and laughs. She the started to squat and splash, stick her head in and under any water fountains or pouring water features, and push herself along in the pool with her hands on the bottom. She really loved it. After we helped her navigate the stairs and find the slides and sit and scoot to get going, she quickly figured out how to go down the slides all by herself. There were two little yellow slides and one big curly blue one and by this morning she was wanting to be just like the big kids and only go down the blue one.

It was an awesome vacation. We joined Adrian and Abby and Linus and we all played and played until we were worn out. I think we'll all be heading to bed early tonight.

Soon I'll fill you in on our latest Sweedish furniture acquisitions - with pictures of course! Our stuff will be delivered tomorrow and Jonathan is already anxious to get it all assembled and put to use!

Kinda like needs versus wants...

2011-08-21T17:56:00.002-04:00

This year I have a giant, scary, overwhelming list titled (in my mind at least):

THINGS THAT MUST HAPPEN OR THE WORLD WILL PROBABLY END.

And on that list were things like dissertation (finish edits on the prospectus and then do a ton of other work in order to be able to then write the results and discussion sections, and then defend it, and then do all the electronic formatting stuff and paperwork stuff to make it all official with the university), and internship (work an hour away, from 8-4 every day, to get 1500 clock hours divided into specific categories), and have a baby and raise a toddler without messing up either of those first two things.

Just thinking about it all summer has been so overwhelming that I've done basically nothing to prepare for any of the big three scary things on the list. I don't think I've touched good ol' dissy since the day I proposed her. And that was when I was still reeling from the sleepless, stressful crazy-making mess of prelims. Do you hear the sad symphony of all those tiny violins?

So, as I've started to ease in to this semester, I've decided that it might be a good choice to start thinking of my list in a slightly different way. I'm going to call it:

A Prioritized List of Things I'll Work on This Year (and if I don't get them all done by May 12th, I will finish them soon after that and that's okay).

The title could use some work. Maybe I should just say "I'm doing my best at x, y, and z. And my best is good enough." Anyhow, the list has the same three big items (prioritized differently depending on the day really), but it's not quite as stressful or scary when I allow myself a little freedom to realize that everything might not fall into place just so, and I might not officially graduate on May 12th, and THAT'S OKAY. (I might still be trying to convince myself, just a little...)

Now, as for graduation plans, I'm not sure exactly what this will mean. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I'm sure there will still be some sort of party because I will require champagne and ice cream cake and those mini quiches I adore. :)

La Mariquita

2011-08-16T07:54:00.003-04:00

There she is with her sleepy little grin. You can't see it, but she's wearing the shoes she picked out (hand-me-down hot pink crocs from her cousin Anna that are a smidge too big), the size 12-month jeans that still fit, this 12-month t-shirt that she also wore through most of last school year, and of course the headband. We tried out a few bow/clip/headband options and she chose this navy one to match her jeans. She was so proud, she ran out to show her dad her back to school outfit this morning.

Evelyn's first day of school is today. This year she is moving out of her old classroom (Abejitas) and into the Mariquitas room. That translates to "Little Ladybugs" which is of course ADORABLE (as I blurted out at parent night when they told us the translation and my head exploded with images of ladybug decorations, costumes, cookies...). The room is for 18-24 month olds, and there is so much good news coming along with the move. First, our incredible teacher Miss Cristina is moving up with the kids. Her assistant will be Miss Cynthia, who has worked with the Abejitas before she left for maternity leave so the kids know her and she knows them. She and Miss Cristina are going to be a great team and I am just thrilled. Second, we are getting reunited with the older Abejitas who made the move up to the Mariquitas room a while back. So we know all of the kids and their parents!

We learned at parent night last week that there will be some fun things to learn this year. The Mariquitas are all on the same schedule, so they take one long nap every day from 12:30-2:30, and they take this nap on mats on the floor! We will all take a moment of silence for Miss Cristina and Miss Cynthia at 12:30 today as they begin teaching 12 squirmy toddlers to stay on their mats for two hours. Evelyn had been on a mat in the Abejitas room for a while (they transition from the crib as soon as the kids can handle it), but there were only a couple of kids on mats and they didn't always nap at the same time so there weren't issues. Miss Cristina assured us that they figure it out and soon everyone is on their mat and napping. They also start learning to line up and do more things for themselves, like climbing little steps up to the sink to wash their own hands. They'll all eat together family-style for meals, and brush teeth after. I think those were the biggest changes. Miss Cristina is excited to have this room, because with the kids all on the same schedule it allows for more storytimes, games, etc. with the whole group and less constant focus on time since the last feeding/diaper change (though they'll still be changed every 2 hours per health dept. rules).

I'm super excited for this year. Praying that Evelyn doesn't bite. Hoping she starts to really talk more soon - I'd take English or Spanish! I know she'll have fun and get to play in a safe and enriching place all day and I'm so happy for that. I feel like I'll be out of the loop a bit - looks like I'll need to leave for my internship before 6 every morning so Jonathan will be doing all school drop-offs this year. But depending on when I get to leave and if the logistics work out, I might be able to do pick-ups... Either way we'll figure it out. It's going to be a crazy year. But at least Evelyn's schoolday is not something I'm stressing about!

Congrats on starting another year, my little Mariquita!

I'm a Dreamer

2011-08-09T08:50:00.002-04:00

Vivid dreams are commonly mentioned as an added perk of pregnancy. I don't remember having many with Evelyn, but it's a different story with little Dos. I think the dreams probably stem from the fact that I wake up a lot more during the night, whether to shift positions, move a pillow, go the bathroom, or whatever... so I have more chances to wake up in the middle of a REM cycle and the dreams are just right there in front of me then. Anyway, here are a few I've had in the past week:

I was at a sonogram with my sister-in-law (she was getting the sonogram) and the baby was super active, bouncing all over the place, and the doc said, "Well, there it is - you proved me wrong - it's a BOY!" I don't know what the "you proved me wrong" was about. But according to my subconscious, they're having a boy. I have a 50% chance of being right!
I was at my middle school for some kind of assembly and I was on the bill to give a speech. I don't know what it was supposed to be about exactly, but something about success and drive and stuff - typical middle school pep talk. My favorite teacher was there and things were running over time and my speech got cut and I flipped. Then I woke up.
This morning, I dreamed that it was raining outside and then started dripping on my head in bed. Then as I got out of bed to find Jonathan, the drips became like a little Winne-the-Pooh raincloud and followed me wherever I went but were more like a rain shower and I was getting soaked. I ran to find Jonathan before he left for work, saw him through the open window and yelled for him, then ran out through the garage and he was gone. And it was winter outside. I couldn't reach the water off valve in the garage, so I went back in and all the furniture in the bedroom was askew and it was no longer dripping.

I think that covers it so far. According to one online dream dictionary (and who wouldn't trust that to tell me about my psyche?), the dreams reflect unconscious helplessness, fear of being ignored, and "spiritual ideas coming to fruition in my mind". Ummm... right.

Baby Dos: 14 Weeks

2011-08-08T12:57:00.002-04:00

Things I haven't been doing this pregnancy: belly photos, cleaning the house, strictly avoiding all caffeine... And that's just to name a few.

I had what I thought was going to be my first "real" doc appointment today (as in, an appointment with a doc), but there was some scheduling mix up and I ended up meeting with a nurse practitioner. I didn't mind since I'm cool with midwives, nurse midwives, nurse practitioners, etc. But I was kinda excited to meet "my" doc. Maybe next time.

Not much news to report... They still haven't gotten my medical records from the birth center. Or they have, but they haven't been entered into the system or something. So I still don't know if there was anything worth noting from the 24-hour urine screen or full blood panel I had done through the birth center back in May. The urine screen was to serve as a baseline for any later screen, should I need it, to determine whether my protein levels change or anything since I have a history of preeclampsia. Anyway, they're supposed to call back this afternoon to let me know what the records say and how often they'll need to see me and all that. I didn't even schedule the next appointment or anything yet! We did get the hear little Dos's heartbeat, although (s)he wasn't a fan of the doppler and kept swimming away so we never got a good count. And I've lost 11 lb. so far. Pretty normal for me - it took me until well after the 20 week mark with Evelyn to start gaining any weight, and I didn't pass my pre-pregnancy weight until after 30 weeks. Pregnancy: the next miracle diet.

I'm feeling somewhat better since I've been taking B6 and unisom at night. I'm going to try B6 and benadryl in the daytime too since that's supposed to help, so we'll see... I'm still tossing my cookies at least once, usually twice, a day for now. But so far, I haven't had the miserable heartburn that I had with Evelyn nonstop. So I'll take it.

Beach Baby

2011-08-04T10:52:00.002-04:00

We headed out to Ft. Fisher beach on Saturday with Evelyn and my cousin Parker who was visiting us from Colorado for a couple weeks. Evelyn loved it. She couldn't get enough. She liked to go out in the big waves and sit (or try to stand) on the boogie board, she liked to sit on Jonathan's shoulders as he walked out into the deep water, and she loved sitting on the beach and dripping the wet sand on her legs.

Our beach time was cut a little short after Parker twisted his foot and we set out to find some crutches, ice, and advil. I think Evelyn would have been content to stay there all day though! Next time we'll have to get some beach toys - she kept wandering over to other kids' toys and trying to play with them.

Now that we know she loves the beach as much as we do (hello COLD water - so much better than the bathtub public pools we've tried this summer), we'll have to try to make it to the beach for a bit longer next summer.

Just another post about vomit.

2011-08-01T16:59:00.002-04:00

You can't say you weren't warned!

So, Evelyn is definitely in the "monkey see, monkey do" stage and she learns so much from what she sees and hears every day. I'm not sure what exactly she'll learn from seeing mommy with her head in the toilet/sink/nearest receptacle on a regular basis, though. Here are her reactions so far:

Stand a few feet away and cry. Like, seriously wail and have big tears until I'm finished.
Try to get between me and the sink, to push me away. Like, "Come on mom, puking is no fun. Let's go play."
Find the nearest little bowl or measuring cup and stand right next to me and pretend to throw up (stick out tongue, make coughing noises into bowl). If she's in the mood for this one and can't find a bowl, she will run around me crying and frantically looking for something until I grab the nearest trash can or whatever for her to pretend to spew into.
Squat down right in front of me and giggle. Then laugh. Big belly laugh. (This one is not my favorite - but perhaps she's just trying to cheer me up?)

So that's how we spend a few quality moments each day. I still have my fingers crossed that things will improve sooner rather than 27 weeks from now, because Jonathan will be the first to tell you that I am not a good sick person. I pretty much do nothing all day, every day. Nothing but grow a baby!

I have my second doc appointment this week, and it'll be the first time I meet my resident so I'm excited for that. It'll be a different experience to go through the whole pregnancy meeting with only one person for every appointment. Then she will be one of three possible residents on duty when I deliver, so there's a 33% chance she'll catch the baby. Although I know from my last experience that I care much more about my nursing staff than I do about the doc who will only be there for a minute!

Book Reports

2011-07-31T11:46:00.009-04:00

So, one of my summer goals was to read some books for fun. I am happy to report that I have not read one single journal article all summer. Typing that does, in fact, make me feel a little guilty and antsy that I've missed some sort of huge breaking news in the school psych research world, but I'll just have to wait until September to catch up. I can't break the streak now!

Anyhow, I was all about reading for pleasure until I became all about hanging out with my buddy the emesis basin (if you follow that link, you'll note that this is really not the ideal vomit receptacle, but nevertheless it is always the thing I'm offered when I'm in any medical setting and I need to spew. Which has to make you think of this scene from Wayne's World).

Back to the good stuff, though. Reading. (Although I have, in fact, read while throwing up. I was trying to distract myself and I grabbed this book you'll usually find in our bathroom just to try to get my mind off the retching.)

Here are the books I've fully read this summer. I thought I'd spare you the "partial" list which includes those I started but lost interest in, those I only read key chapters from, etc.

Baby Catcher - Peggy Vincent

An Exact Replica... - Elizabeth McCracken

Three Cups of Tea - Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin

Room - Emma Donoghue

The Help - Kathryn Stockett

Bossypants - Tina Fey

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo - Stieg Larsson

The Girl Who Played with Fire - Stieg Larsson

And there you have it. I liked all of them, of course... The books I wasn't so fond of are on the partial list. So I'd recommend all of these books. Next up is the third in the Millenium series (Stieg Larsson), The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest. We're just waiting for it to come out in paperback.

Phew, I finally got caught up on that list. Now we can get back to the usual around these parts. Evelyn is approaching the 17 month mark, and the teeny baby B is creeping up on 13 weeks in the oven.

Some pregnant ramblings.

2011-07-06T19:39:00.003-04:00

Because I'm pregnant and I felt like posting for my memory's sake... but I don't have any real message or theme or organizational plan. So, enjoy.

- I'm nine weeks pregnant, as of yesterday. The baby's the size of a grape and has eyelids.

- I'm hoping against hope that I get to experience that elusive "golden" second trimester I hear so much about. I didn't have a golden trimester (or week for that matter) with Evelyn, so I'm not holding my breath. But it would be nice.

- I've moved into pretty regular spewing territory. At least once a day.

- Evelyn grabs bowls and pretends to throw up in them. A bit disturbing, but at least we know she's observant. If she actually sees me getting sick with the bowl or the toilet, she stands there and cries until I'm finished. I try to smile and tell her that mommy's okay when I can come up for air.

- My poor face still takes the brunt of it. I pop capillaries left and right when my stomach is trying to empty contents that are not there. Today I have a nice patch of red all around my right eye.

- I'm tired and not on top of everything I should be on top of, which is really frustrating.

- I have had an ultrasound (to determine the due date) and I have my first official appointment tomorrow. Jonathan is out of vacation time at work so I went to the ultrasound with Evelyn and it's looking like I'll go with her tomorrow as well. This is only just now dawning on me that it's the night before the appointment and I did not arrange for a sitter. Boo.

- I'm not allowed to go to the birth center anymore, as I've risked out of their care due to my history of hypertension. This is frustrating and I cried when they told me.

- I'm going to UNC Family Practice instead, and I'll deliver at UNC again. This time I'll be armed with much more knowledge, I'll ask for a nurse who will tolerate (or perhaps even enjoy) someone who doesn't want pain meds or ambien, I'll get the IV team to navigate my allegedly valve-filled veins, and I'll have a doula to help me and Jonathan keep it together. Not that last time was terrible at all - in fact it was incredibly empowering and amazing - but there's always room for improvement.

- At first all I wanted was fresh-squeezed lemonade. I even broke my Chik-fil-a boycott twice to guzzle their delicious lemonade. Now I want pickles. Crunchy, cold, dill pickles. All the time.

And that is all. There is much more to come on this topic, I'm sure. But next time I'll try to fill you in on my summer reading progress. I'm learning to love fiction!

That ain't no etch-a-sketch.

2011-06-28T21:54:00.001-04:00

Well, we certainly did not see this coming. We were thinking (read: plotting and planning for) maybe June, maybe July of 2012.

And yet, here it is.

We're expecting baby number two!

It's early yet. We hope to meet the newest Baby B sometime in late January or early February.

We were surprised.
Now we're tired and nauseous.
(Or maybe that's just me...)

And thrilled.
Absolutely excited and looking forward to the future!

We won't be finding out the baby's sex until he or she is born, but names are already decided and we'll tell you if you ask really nicely.

(It's kinda like winning the lottery - We're in the 0.6%!)

The girl can eat.

2011-06-15T20:39:00.003-04:00

Sorry I have no pics of the cuteness today - my camera's latch broke and it's really frustrating trying to use it lately. Maybe I'll remember to pack it with us and have it looked at when we're in Wichita so I can use it when we're in Kansas.

Anyway, to the story...

Evelyn is in school on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings this summer and I usually pick her up just as she's finishing her lunch. Every day, without fail, her teachers tell me what a great eater she is. Today the also told me that what really impresses them is that she's "just such an organized eater." That cracked me up. They said she's methodical and careful and all business when it's time to eat. She sits down, waits for her bib, gets the plate, starts with her favorite food first and eats all of it, and then moves along.

An organized eater.

They also routinely tell us that she will eat anything and everything and she's the easiest one in the class when it comes to food. I love it. Maybe I'll make her a little construction paper ribbon award with "best eater" to match my own preschool award saying "best napper." (Actually, that's pretty funny because I seem to have completely lost the napping skills I clearly had at age 4. But more on my napping issues another day.)

We've also started to sing a little song I made up about brushing teeth every night, and she LOVES it. After jammies are on, I start to sing the song and she gets a huge smile and runs to the bathroom, opens the drawer, and stands on her tippy toes to grab her toothpaste and toothbrush. Then she brushes to her heart's content and finally signs "all done" and hands us the brush. She mostly just chews on the brush, which actually works pretty well since she still has just the 4 teeth. The ped at her 15 mo. checkup said lucky us for her not having more teeth - less to worry about! He said she'll have 20 teeth by the time she's 3 and he'll guarantee that but he won't make any promises about how or when or where they'll appear before then.

Alright that's tonight's mind dump. Time to go watch extreme couponing and write a report for the clinic. Is it vacation time yet?

Close your eyes and tap your heels together three times...

2011-06-09T10:38:00.002-04:00

We've purchased grown-up luggage to replace the well-loved duffels with holes and broken zippers.

The animals are up-to-date on vaccinations and good to go with boarding and care arrangements.

Our neighbors are keeping an eye on things.

We've made some arrangements here and there to try to meet up with as many people as we possibly can while we're in Kansas.

I've brainstormed ways to keep Evelyn busy and happy en-route.

Today the excel spreadsheets with color-coded packing lists will be revised and finalized.

All conversations seem to lead to us talking about how much we're looking forward to our vacation to Kansas... not too much longer!

Saving Money

2011-06-06T08:50:00.008-04:00

I've mentioned Kelli before (the one with the beautiful garden). And I alluded to the fact that she taught me everything I know about saving money through the magic of coupons. Now, before we go too far here, it's important to note that I am NOT an expert and I really don't save a ton of money through using coupons alone. I have so much room for improvement in that area. But I've been able to use Kelli's advice to make some changes and most importantly to be a million times more mindful of how much I'm spending when I stock up on groceries. So, disclaimer over. Here we go!

This is my couponing binder, modeled after Kelli's of course. The front left cover is a bit of a mess right now, but it has an envelope containing "eating out" coupons. I am pretty good about finding these deals and clipping them, but not so good about remembering I have them and taking them with me when I go someplace. I'll work on that. I also have my rebate stuff over there - right now I need to send in my receipt and UPC to get a free bag of cat food. And other "general" coupons like the Food Lion one there which will give me $4.50 off my next $45 purchase at the Lion. Not a huge savings, but they add up!

On the right side is where the fun happens. The binder is stuffed with baseball card holders, and I made color-coded tabs for each section to make finding coupons easy.

Blue is for food items, and I have it divided into the categories like fruits and veggies (these will usually be frozen if I have a coupon for them - very rare to find a coupon for fresh), boxed/dry food, canned food, cereal, etc. I kinda just made up the categories, so you could really split it up however you wanted.

The red section in my binder is for personal care items like toothpaste (which I've learned should pretty much always be almost free between coupons and store deals), shampoo, body wash, deodorant, etc.

Then in green I have household and cleaning stuff. I have a section for laundry detergent, one for dishwasher detergent, dish soap, cleaning supplies, etc.

After that, which you can't really see in the picture, I have an orange section for baby stuff. One tag for diapers, one for wipes, feeding paraphernalia (bottles, forks, sippy cups, etc.), clothes, toys, baby care stuff, etc.

So that's the setup. Now, here's how I go about shopping.

We get the paper twice a week (Wednesday and Sunday). I think it's free or something... or we just got a good deal because we've never paid and we still get it. So on those days, I go through any inserts that are in the paper and I clip any coupons I think we'll use. I also go through junk mail to clip coupons there too. I add it to the binder. This looking and clipping takes maybe 20 minutes, tops, as there aren't a ton of inserts in the papers.

When it's time to go grocery shopping, I start by looking at the store's specials. I typically do this online because it's super easy and I can just click on stuff, update the quantity, and print a list there. (For now, I'm really only doing our big shopping trips at Harris Teeter because I like shopping there, they have our milk, they double coupons up to 99 cents (not just 50 like other places), and they have fun carts that Evelyn enjoys for approximately 2 minutes longer than the standard shopping cart.)

Anyway, that's step one and really where I save the bulk of my money: shop the specials. Build your meal plans around what's on sale. This is almost the only way I've found to save on the perimeter items of the store like fresh produce and meat, and you can save some serious cash this way. For example, check out how much I saved on pork tenderloin and shrimp here:

Two-pound bags of raw frozen shrimp were on special for buy 2, get 3 free. That took the total price per bag from $28 to about $11. And since it keeps for a long time and it's a pretty easy, quick, healthy source of protein, I was all in for the deal this week. Pork tenderloin was buy 1, get 1 free and scanned at half price as a result. Not too shabby.

But you might be wondering where the coupons come in, right? Well, I make my list around the store specials and then I sift through my coupon binder to see if I have any coupons that align with those specials. This overlap is where people who are super skilled can get stuff for free. I generally have only one or two coupons that overlap with a store sale, but that's better than nothing! As I'm looking through the coupon binder, I also look for any other things we might need that I have a coupon for but weren't on sale this week just in case I want to use that coupon now. I put all of the coupons I'm going to use in this grocery store trip into one envelope that I take with me to the store, so I actually leave my binder at home.

That's the basic run-through of everything. Like I said, I'm still learning. I'm learning to clip coupons that are for $1 off or more and to hang onto them for when the store does "super doubles" where they'll double higher-value coupons. Every now and then, they have triple coupons as well, and you can get some great deals then. Kelli also explained that things go on sale in cycles, so sometimes you can stock up a little bit if something is a really good deal. I don't have a stockpile anything like you'll see on Extreme Couponing - just a few extra boxes of cereal in the garage (for lack of a pantry), in fact.

But with these modest changes in how I go about shopping, I typically save about 50% when I go shopping. I still spend a lot - more than I'd like - at the store. But I really only go on big runs once a month so I guess it's all relative.

I've learned some things about couponing, for sure. First, the most common response I hear from anyone when the topic comes up is about how "coupons are just for junk food that you don't need" or something along those lines. I really don't think that's true. I don't clip coupons for pure junk that we do not need to keep around (let alone, in large quantities) in our house. And if you put in some extra effort and look online for coupons, you can find them for the items you want and definitely not for just junk. However, if you are rigid in what you eat and what you use to wash your home and self, then you will not be saving as much by couponing or by shopping the store specials. You just won't. And that's okay. I have odd brand loyalties to some things but not others so I just resign myself to spending the big bucks on my favorite shampoo and body wash for me and Evelyn, but I'll take whatever brand of toothpaste or bread is pretty much free. How you do it is totally up to you.

If you're still reading, I'm impressed. Feel free to ask me any questions! I can't guarantee that I'll know the answer, but I can try! If you have any additional advice or tricks that have worked for you with couponing or saving money on groceries, please let me know! And here's a little shot of adorableness to reward you for sticking it out til the end of this monster post.

All lathered up with her California Baby Lavender Calming Shampoo and Body Wash. Good thing we haven't even gotten halfway through this expensive bottle in her first 15 months of life. I promise I do bathe her... I just must not use much soap!

Bootcamp: Halfway In

2011-06-04T07:03:00.004-04:00

Well, I still haven't missed a session of bootcamp. It's going pretty well. I really like Coach Colin, who is the perfect mix of encouraging and challenging. We do all kinds of different workouts and every time it's a struggle but I feel so good after it's over. I don't think there has been a day yet that hasn't involved some ridiculously high number of air squats. Those might look simple, but no. They are not. Like many people who sit hunched over the computer all day, I am short on thoracic spine mobility and as a result, I throw my weight forward when I'm squatting. So now I get to do all sorts of thoracic spine exercises twice a day at home to try to improve my mobility so I can knock out the squats in good form. The people in my class are also incredible. We cheer for each other and we push each other through every workout.

I'm thinking about signing up for another session (through July/August) but this stuff's not free so I'm going to think a little longer and see about it. It's definitely a good way to spend my spending money... but I also want a haircut and semi-professional clothes to wear to internship every day so we'll have to find a balance somewhere.

In other general news, we're all doing well. I'm working on the garden a little every day, Evelyn is enjoying her short stints at school to keep up with her Spanish skills ;) and Jonathan is counting down the hours until we go on vacation. Today we're going to level a section of the backyard to accommodate our little swimmin' hole (they really aren't kidding when they say it needs to be on perfectly level ground... learned that the hard way). Evelyn and I are thinking about heading out for breakfast to kill time until Jonathan wakes up to help with the yard. And that's about it. Thrilling, I know!

Moving Dirt

2011-06-01T15:18:00.008-04:00

Gardens are not made by singing 'Oh how beautiful' and sitting in the shade.

- Rudyard Kipling -

Thanks to the amazing Kelli, who also taught me everything I know about couponing (more on that another day), I got a whole hatchback-full of free gorgeous plants from her garden. It was mere hours after I posted pictures of my sad little garden of day lilies that she told us to come on over and we got to see her beautiful gardens. Be still my heart -- there were giant hostas!

I invested $40 into the project for some good soil, cute gardening gloves (those are required, right?), and a little hand pruner. I forgot to mention that all previous pruning in the garden was done using a hand saw I found the garage. Jonathan didn't want me cutting off a finger or three, so he encouraged me to pick up a pruner and I agreed.

So far, in this ridiculous heat and humidity over the past two days, I've made modest progress. I dug up all of the day lilies in the Right garden, divided them, and moved them to the left side of the house. There used to be a sad brick-lined bed under the far back windows and I pulled up all those bricks and just let the day lilies line the house. It's a bit bright in the after picture, but you can see what I mean. If they don't die, they'll grow and fill in the gaps and provide some much-needed color and life. I'm envisioning a fully-developed flower garden with a little stone path to our wood picket fence around our lush green lawn in the backyard. I sure can dream. I also moved the azalea bushes to the front of the chimney bump-out there. You can see those pretty clearly.

Planting the lilies along the side of the house, where only grass (nay, crabgrass) had grown before, was a GIANT PAIN and I was sufficiently whiny about it yesterday. But I'm happy it's done.

Now that the lilies are out of the front garden, here's the lay of the land:

In the back row we have some green things that are supposed to grow pretty tall - 3-4 feet or so maybe. If they live. Some of them are looking unhappy about their recent eviction from Kelli's gorgeous garden. In front of those are two hostas of different varieties. They should grow to be tall-ish but not taller than what's behind them. Then there is a tallish green plant with firecracker flowers. I don't know what it's called and it looks lonely but I'll let it grow and divide it next year. In front of that we have three clumps of yellow and green striped liriope. And not pictured in the corner is a clump of lamb's ear, which I want to grow and divide so it can line the whole walkway. I love lamb's ear. There are also a few sprigs of ground cover here and there - periwinkle and something else I can't remember. I hope they decide to live and cover the ground.

That's it for now. No progress on the left garden yet but I think all the day lilies from there will go to the back of the house and line the house back there. I've just grown tired of them out front. I have another hunk of hosta to plant, some liriope, black-eyed susans, and other stuff I'm forgetting I'm sure.

Stay tuned.

How does your garden grow?

2011-05-29T18:22:00.009-04:00

Greetings and welcome to our front garden. Sit back, relax, and put on your thinking cap because I need some help with this one!

Here's the lay of the land so you can get your bearings. I'll refer to the gardens as left (under the extra large windows with the little half-circle window on top) and right (um... the other side. On the right). Right is a bit bigger than left. It has a clear border (sidewalk and then the driveway just a little outside the picture to the right). Left doesn't have a border at all - it forms a little half-circle type shape as it curves back to meet the left corner of the house there.

Now, let's get up close and personal so you can see why I'm asking for some help.

Exhibit A: the garden Right

There's no shortage of day lilies here. They're planted in an uneven line along the front (ish) of the garden, effectively blocking the view of anything planted behind them. They're rather tall. They could easily be divided. So keep that in mind as we meander around the gardens. Where would you put the divided parts? Would you move all the day lilies so they're not right up front blocking everything else?

If your eyes are in excellent shape, you might be able to make out a recently pruned rose bush in that picture too. It's growing close to the white porch column, and it's really just 5 stalks right now. I'm really hoping that the youtube video I watched on how to prune rose bushes wasn't lying because it basically told me to cut them down. So I did. Now we wait. They are pink roses that have already bloomed, and the leaves go from green to dark red. I have no idea what kind of roses they are... do you?

Growing behind the barrier of day lilies, there used to be about 4 of these guys:

But after today's garden clean-out, I easily pulled 3 dead ones out so now Right garden has only one lonely twiggy leafy flowering bush thing (Do you know its name? Although my name is descriptive, it's certainly not concise). These bush things are okay, but they don't grow taller than the day lilies so I don't see their purpose if they're just hidden all the time. There are a few in the Left garden too - a few less now that I've nixed the dead ones there too. Maybe this garden isn't the best home for them if they keep dying?

So that's the Right side. Basically a rose bush (maybe), a bunch of day lilies, and a lot of extra space (approximately 6'x10' of pretty empty space behind those lilies right now). What would you do with that kind of garden space?

Mull that over as we move on to...

Exhibit B: The garden Left

Deja vu! A thick wall of day lilies. A few twiggy bush things. And, in that open space close to the porch, an incredibly well-pruned rose bush. There is not as much open space in this garden - we have a patch of land behind the lilies roughly right-triangle shaped with a base approximately 4 feet deep and a height of something like 8 feet (making the area 16 sq. feet if my geometry works).

Whatever shall we do with this patch of land?

Oh, you might be wondering about sunlight. The lilies have thrived up front where they get good sun for most of every day. Left gets more sun overall than Right, as Right is completely covered by the house (roof). Left is fully in front of the house - no roof cover to block sunlight or rain from getting all over it.

Finally, and lower on my list of priorities, is the side of the house (off the edge of garden Left). Way back there close to the chain-link fence, you can see a little brick garden box. It has four plastic pots sitting in it, each holding its own dead plant. I'm not sure what they were. Gifts from the previous owner that I've clearly not been motivated to part with yet. Anyhow, I'd like to someday have open, flowing beds along the side of the house here. That back brick area gets more sun than the front. But I'd like to get rid of the bricks and just have an open bed that flows into the yard a la garden Left. Sort of a continuation of this garden, in fact. All the way to the back.

Okay, I know you're just bursting at the seams with good ideas for the garden. Before you spill, though, a couple of important notes:

1. Low maintenance is key. We need plants that will love us back even when we rarely water, prune, weed, aerate, fertilize, or do anything else you're supposed to do to keep plants happy.

2. Cheap is good. Our garden budget is currently hovering right around the $0 area. I've got armies of lilies to divide and plant. I have a bag of chive seeds and one of basil seeds. I have half a bag of potting soil. A shovel. Some gloves. And that's it.

3. I don't know much about plants. But I do love hostas. Especially the Orange Marmalade ones. Beautiful. So even though we can't currently throw money at the garden, if you have some long-term ideas or you know someone who'll trade me hostas for some pretty awesome monster cookies, I'm open to suggestions!

Thanks in advance for any ideas you might have for the gardens!

BONUS QUESTION: What color would you paint that rocking chair on the porch?

Reading, Painting, Working

2011-05-24T08:31:00.004-04:00

Part 1: Reading

Summer thus far, for me, has consisted of quite a bit of reading. It has been glorious. I've finished these books:

1. Room (Emma Donoghue)
2. An Exact Replica of a Figment of my Imagination (Elizabeth McCracken)
3. Baby Catcher: Chronicles of a Modern Midwife (Peggy Vincent)

All were excellent. Room and 'Figment' were the "can't put it down" type and I finished each in about a day. All three made me cry. And laugh. I'd definitely recommend all of them. It's difficult to sell Figment because of the story line, but the reason I special-ordered it and checked it out in the first place was because I heard this blurb about it on NPR back in January. Baby Catcher gave me a much better understanding of the politics and money behind midwives and how they work in America. But it also had so many different birth stories and just reminded me of my continuous awe for pregnancy and birth and women's strength.

I'm also working my way through the following books right now:

1. The Happiest Toddler on the Block
2. Three Cups of Tea

Tea has been on my list for a long time, but I finally took the plunge and checked it out. I'm about halfway through and I love it. It's a bit dense and it makes me think, but it's so timely and informative. I've found my ears perking up whenever I hear news about Pakistan (every day) and I'm starting to have a little bit more context for understanding that part of the world. I do mean a little bit. But it's a start.

I'll probably keep the toddler book around as reference for a while, but I have so many other books to crack open after Tea that I'm not sure what's next. Right now it's looking like The Help and The Purity Myth will probably be next (I like to have 2 books going at a time, and I've been learning to love fiction again for a little mental break).

Part 2: Painting

I taped the hallway a while back, thinking it might kick-start us to get it painted. We've had the paint for a year now and just haven't done it! Then a week or so ago, I decided to prime it. (I've also randomly mowed the lawn and done other spontaneous things around the house just for the joy of seeing the fruits of my labors and feeling accomplished in a tangible way. It's the curse of the psychologist.)

Finally, Jonathan agreed to help and we mostly finished painting. Here is a little before/after shot for you. We really like it.

I didn't get exactly the same angles for the after shots as I had in the before shots, but you get the idea of it at least. What used to be the ubiquitous pale yellow of all eager home sellers has become our own version of a bolder neutral with dark brown (Sherwin Williams Plantation Brown) on the bottom and a lighter tan (Sherwin Williams Tamarind) on top. These are the same colors we painted the living room walls.

But why was I so inspired to get this hallway finished? Because I want to paint the kitchen cabinets white. And Sherwin Williams is having a big paint sale right now. So, once I finish touching up the hallway, we're headed out to get some paint and an electric sander and I'll be all set for tackling the kitchen cabinets. We've noticed that the pale yellow paint on the kitchen walls looks gross and lime-y now that it's surrounded by our warm browns, so we'll have to remedy that too. And I dream of a backsplash. We have plenty to keep us busy.

Part 3: Working

Sometimes, it feels like the semester hasn't really ended. I'm working in the clinic every day. I'm writing reports. Calling clients. When will it end?! Jonathan has also been super busy at work lately, so we're both counting down the days until we can get back to Kansas for some much-needed family time. Seriously counting down the days. 30 to go.

Evelyn has, of course, been working hard too! Her class has been reviewing all they've learned this year and getting ready to celebrate the end of the school year with a big fiesta! Here she is with her fellow Abejitas and las maestras, Elsa y Cristina.

Monica, Finn, __, Evelyn, Lorenzo, Meadow, __, Jack

Umm... I used to know all the kids in her class but there have been some swaps lately and I can't remember two of the boys' names! I'll have to fill them in later. Also, people are still shocked by the uniform requirement at school but can I just say how amazingly simple it makes my life? No fussing over clothes. It's grab a red top, grab a blue bottom, and go. I absolutely love it.

On that note...

2011-05-18T20:38:00.002-04:00

I mentioned last time that I'd like to take better care of myself. I'm now 8 sessions into my 8-week round of boot camp and things are going pretty well. Whereas I really thought I might have a heart attack and drop dead the first week, and I just felt ridiculously sore all the time the second week, the third week has brought with it a burst of energy and enthusiasm. I've been able to finish most things strong rather than dropping medicine balls... or my whole self... to the ground. Progress.

This morning I went to one of my favorite places for a check-up and word on the street was that my blood pressure was kinda AMAZING. This is really big news for me. It's made even bigger by the fact that my prescription ran out like a month ago and I was out of refills so I just kinda waited until this appointment when I figured I'd get a new prescription. I had been on the very lowest dose of a beta blocker to manage chronic hypertension discovered a couple months before I got pregnant. After her birth, I was moved up a notch in dosage. So I fully expected my BP to be all kinds of high this morning after having no medicine, but it was definitely not high! There was much celebrating between me, my favorite phlebotomist, and the best nurse practitioner ever. I proceeded to sit down and talk with said nurse practitioner for close to 45 minutes about all sorts of health-related stuff before the exam. Did I mention that I absolutely love the WBWC? I really really do.

The sad news, though, is that they've changed their criteria for what will make a person "risk out" of being an obstetric patient at the birth center. Whereas they would previously take you if you had controlled chronic hypertension (your BP was high before pregnancy, but you were managing it with medication), they no longer accept people with pre-pregnancy hypertension. As of right now, I'm not hypertensive. So I just have to stay that way until [top secret date] when we plan to try to get pregnant again. Ideally, I will lose 20 lb. by said date, so there's some serious motivation in place now. I'm going to keep tacking the boot camp workouts and try to, as my boot camp instructor says, "eat REAL food" in the meantime.

And now, Jonathan would probably give me a lecture about how I've just devoted a whole post to my health issues and I'm turning into an old person. But it was a happy health day so I wanted to document it.

On the Evelyn front, her teachers report that she can stack five blocks, sometimes more. And she's starting to pause a little before she bites kids. It used to be "you take my toy, I bite you" immediately, but now she's showing signs of thinking that choice through. Progress. Her last week of school is next week and then after Memorial Day, summer camp begins! I think this might mean that she doesn't have to wear a uniform, and I know they spend more time playing outside during "camp" which lasts all summer.

School's out for summer.

2011-05-15T20:49:00.003-04:00

Hi, summer. I've been waiting for you.

This academic year was absolutely the most difficult one I've had. Ever.

I took a bunch of courses. I did a practicum and got some incredible hands-on experience in the messy world of not-for-profit organizations and urban settings and teen pregnancy. I felt sick and tired for most of the fall semester and finally, finally went to a real doctor* and found out that I had mono. I went to San Francisco. Twice. I drank wine in Napa Valley and put my toes in the Pacific Ocean. My father, who I didn't really know, died. And then I found his sister and her husband and my cousin. I kept a peace lily alive, which has to be some sort of potted plant record for me. I worried about finding an internship. I found an internship. I also passed the Praxis, finalized my plan of work, passed prelims, and proposed my dissertation**. I kept on nursing my sweet baby and cried a little as I cuddled her in the evenings, not wanting time to move so very fast. I watched her grow and crawl and walk and become a toddler (and I'm still fighting it).

And now, I can breathe again.

Summer.

I'm still pretty busy in the clinic at school, and I probably will be until the end of May when I hand off the "scheduling officer" baton and am no longer on the hook for all incoming and outgoing calls at work. I'll keep being a coach for some students needing academic support and doing a working memory training program. But come June, Evelyn is only in school on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays in the morning. So I'll go in to work during those chunks of time but that's it. Glorious.

What will I do with all this time?

1. Read. The summer reading list is long and I tend to grab extra treats whenever I'm at the library, so I'm not sure where the winding road will take me this summer but I'm excited. I started Room yesterday and finished it today. I think I was seriously in need of reading something other than journal articles or my own endless dissertation.

2. Play. With Evelyn. A lot. Outside.

3. Travel. We'll head to Kansas and we'll head to the beach. I might also go on some little day-trip adventures with Evelyn just because we can.

4. Grow something. Right now it's looking like cilantro and basil. I could live on chips and salsa or bruschetta all summer. I know growing herbs is supposed to be simple, so we'll see if I can handle it.

5. Try to undo the damage that the past 6 years of grad school have done to my body. So far this means boot camp at a small local gym and I will say I'm loving it. I've nearly puked, I've nearly cried in front of the class, but I've also had some amazing moments and I've been apologizing to my poor sore body for not asking it to do anything more than sit for so many years. I'm grateful that it's working with me and I'm slowly finding some endurance and strength. I'm also realizing that I absolutely do not push myself as hard as I need to when it's just me. I need the accountability and encouragement that the group provides.

And that's it. Five things. I am beaming at the thought of summer, and it's here!

* All offense intended, Student Health at my fine institution of higher education. Thanks for nothing. And to you, oh doctor who made the call and ran the simple mono blood test, many thanks for not just sending me home with a tub of monster-strength antibiotics and telling me I'd be fine in 24 hours and I should go take that test even though I feel like death like student health did.

** That's five, count 'em, FIVE academic milestones for my doctoral degree. Whereas I could check no "progress" boxes on my self-evaluations for the first two years I was enrolled in this program, this year I got to check five. I'd pat myself on the back some more, but my arms are sore from attempting to do some pull-ups on Friday. My lack of athleticism keeps me humble :)

Mothers

2011-05-08T11:14:00.004-04:00

This year I've grown to appreciate mothers even more than I ever did before.

[My Momo with two of her children... The one on the left is Evelyn's Momo. Someday maybe I'll be a Momo too.]

Mine is, of course, among the very finest of mothers. But then there's my maternal grandmother and her four sisters. And their mother, who I don't think I ever met but who had have been pretty awesome because she raised five strong women who are the matriarchs of our family. And my paternal grandmother, whose memory is only there in small bursts that are filled with intense and unquestioning love.

I also have perhaps the best mother-in-law I could ask for.

She raised two of the kindest, most responsible, good men around and I got to marry one of them. She loves Jonathan, she loves me, and she loves her grandchildren. So. Much. Evelyn is blessed to have such a MeeMaw (even if I still haven't figured out how to spell that... two e's or one?).

And this year I've really been able to slowly start to experience motherhood more and more. Sometimes it's terrifying, beautiful, challenging, perfect, empowering, painful, surprising. It's exactly what I want. I couldn't do it without being surrounded by so many mothers who have taught me and loved me and supported me for the past 28 years.

Here's to a good day for all of the mothers. Thank you for all you do.

"There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one."

Jill Churchill

On Saturday...

2011-05-07T18:00:00.000-04:00

Evelyn had some fun in a bubble bath.

It was a pretty laid-back day. Long naps, long bath, reading and playing. One of those perfect days.

After I woke up from a rare afternoon nap, Jonathan asked if I would be interested in looking at cars. And I was. And so we did.

We came home with this.

I need to re-learn how to drive a car with manual transmission. And now we're a two-car family. I'm sure I'll be thankful for the freedom and extra time that I'll have now that my taxi role is over, but I know I'll miss the family time we had in the car every day.

But we're excited. Life is pretty good.

Change

2011-04-29T19:28:00.007-04:00

Yesterday, as I was schlepping my more than 25-pounds* of laptop, books, files, papers, and whatnot in to school, one of the straps of my beloved bag snapped.

It was a sad moment indeed, but then I realized that I've used this bag every single day for the past three years (almost exactly - it was a graduation gift to myself after I got the MA). And for a $60 bag, 1000 days of hard work is pretty good. So I browsed around a little bit for a new bag. I read some reviews. I looked at some pictures. And then I ordered this:

Look familiar? Yeah. But see how I changed up the design? Now it's a distinguished bag. An intern's bag. A distinguished intern's bag...

Then earlier this evening, I took a spare moment** to look down at my foot and I realized that my dear, dear flip flops are getting quite worn down and sad-looking.

I thought, "Hey, wait a minute! Didn't I just by these?" Um, yeah. Three years ago. Right after we moved to NC. I haven't bought a pair of flip flops since. Now, mind you, I haven't needed to either. These particular flippy floppies are amazing. Trust me. I have worn them all over and I just can't go back to the old-school foam flops of yore. Anyway, I was feeling all flush what with the end of The Compact and some newfound cash (we paid off our car! No more car payments!***), so I ordered ... you guessed it - more of the same flips. But I also decided to try these:

in red.

And now you're all caught up on my purchases of late. Are you excited or what?!

Here are some other news tidbits for you:

- I successfully defended my dissertation proposal today. And I only almost-cried once during the meeting! And I was reminded of how entirely awesome my advisor is. How awesome is he, you ask? Entirely awesome.

- Evelyn's teacher stopped us on our way out of school today to tell us that Evelyn is so smart. She said that whenever they sing El Viejo Juancho (Old McDonald), Evelyn and her friend Meadow walk over and get the animals to go along with whatever animal sound they are making. Aquí oink, allí oink, en todos lados oink, oink. I love it.

And now for the fine print:

* I only know this because it always sets off the seatbelt alarm when I put my bag on the passenger's side. It feels like 50 pounds.

** A spare moment?! I know! I have somehow almost finished this semester and I'm noticing all sorts of extra moments appearing in my days. Where have these moments been for the past 16 weeks?

*** No car payments! Do a little dance with me! Come on, do it! But don't get too excited. We will soon have payments again as we have to get a second car before August when my internship starts. We knew this day would come, but it is sad. Even more sad since we can't get the Leaf we both really like. We've debated the Fit, another Prius, or just finding some kind of decent little used car with acceptable safety ratings for Jonathan and Evelyn to drive while I take the Prius on the long commute... No solid plans yet but we're open to suggestions!

The Hindsight Packing List

2011-04-27T11:21:00.004-04:00

I have some friends who in the process of growing babies, and some others who are in the process of thinking about it. One friend recently asked me what might be good to take to the hospital for the baby, which got me thinking about what I did (and didn't) pack for our hospital stay with Evelyn.

There are tons of lists available all over the place if you poke around online. They'll all tell you different things. I started with a list from our Bradley Birth workbook, which included the following items. I tweaked some of them and only included here the ones I thought were good:

In the Car
- chux pads (super handy to have these around after you get home too)
- pillow (with plastic bag under pillow case so it's waterproof)
- small basin (for the puking! Oh, the puking...)
- 2 large, clean, old towels
- clean blanket
- two tennis balls wrapped in a tube sock (can put against lower back against the seat as you sit to give yourself some counterpressure/massage on the drive)
- full gas tank
- safely installed car seat (go to your local fire station or other inspection place and have them check it!)

I had this all in a bag and ready in the car, but because I was induced, we didn't use any of this. But if you're actually in labor and on your way to the hospital, it's good stuff to have!

For Mom:
- birth coach
- nightgown
- flip flops (hospital bathrooms/showers are icky)
- nursing tanks
- warm socks
- your favorite pillow or two, with colorful and soft pillow cases
- hair bands, bobby pins, etc.
- chapstick
- personal toiletries
- yoga pants
- cardigan
- comfortable, big cotton underwear

For Coach:
- insurance cards
- IDs for you and mom
- copies of birth plan
- treats to take to nurse's stations (two sets of treats - one for labor nurses and one for maternity)
- lotion (unscented or a scent mom can tolerate for massage during labor)
- tennis balls for back rubs
- music and portable player (hospital might have this - we brought our ipod and sound dock)
- soft washcloths
- small cooler with nourishing liquids for mom in labor (I liked gatorade), and snacks for you and mom
- flex straws
- personal toiletries
- something to time contractions
- swim trunks if there might be some tub laboring
- changes of clothes (prepare for all "weather" situations - our room sometimes got cranked up to 80 if I had the chills, or down to the 60s if I was hot)
- phone and charger
- laptop and charger
- camera and extra batteries/charger
- video camera

For Baby
- 1 outfit to wear home
- 1 alternative outfit to wear home
- kimono style undershirts with hand covers built in
- newborn pants with feet attached
- several receiving blankets
- baby book for footprints

Now, let's get a little bit specific. Jonathan can attest to the fact that I always pack my own stuff last. Packing our hospital bags was no exception. I made sure to pack all of his stuff, with multiple changes of clothes, extra boxers, etc. only to find that I only packed one pair of pants and one nursing tank for myself. Not good! I also didn't take the right things for Evelyn. I had one of those long gowns and a hat for her to wear home, and I realized on the day that we were going to have to go to the hospital that she was going to need something with legs for the carseat. I stopped at the boutique at the Birth Center and grabbed some footed pants that were WAY too big, but at least it was something!

So, in retrospect, here's what i really wish I'd taken. Next time I'll have all my bases covered just in case I have to go to the hospital for a birth again...

1. My own hospital gown. I know, I know. I thought it was ridiculous too when I looked at "designer" hospital gowns. And some people are happy as clams in the hospital-issue gowns. I didn't really want to be in the hospital in the first place, so everything that felt and smelled like hospital made me feel kinda icky. Next time I probably will spring for my own sturdy, "cute" gown that I can wash at home and take with me.

2. A simple, thick, comfortable headband. And I'll grow my hair long enough to put in a ponytail before I go into labor. Because when I had Evelyn, my hair was at that horrible length that's not long enough to stay up in a ponytail, so I was left begging Jonathan to just hold it up during labor and then cursing the frizzy mess I had the rest of the time I was in the hospital. This sounds really trite along with number 1 there, but it's just me. I am happier when I feel like my hair is not frizzed to the max and I'm in clothes that feel and smell good. I feel good. I wouldn't go so far as to say that you need makeup in the hospital, but some little things that can make you feel good about yourself are important.

3. Cute newborn-sized hats for that lil' newborn noggin. Hospital caps are thin and generic. Next time I'm going to make a few for the baby and take them along.

4. Newborn-sized pants with feet! Curses on little baby socks. Footed pants are the way to go if you don't want to chase after socks all day long.

5. Receiving blankets. The hospital ones are... adequate... but what you really want is a big square blanket. Or five. Some thick, some thin. You're going to learn to swaddle that little bean and a square blanket is the way to do it.

6. Long-sleeved kimono-style newborn-sized shirts. I like the shirt and pants idea because their little belly buttons aren't healed yet, and this lets the stump air out a bit and not get rubbed too much. Plus these shirts are just adorable and really easy to get on and off. And they have built-in mitten cuffs. Hooray! Oh, also, the hospital told us to only bring clothes to take Evelyn home in and so we did. But it turns out that all they had to dress her in during her stay were hats and WAY too big kimono shirts. Lame. I'm going to take a few simple and small enough to fit outfits with us next time.

7. Fun, colorful pillowcases on at least two of your favorite pillows. Don't bring white because you'll get them mixed up with the hospital's stuff. And remember that they'll be in a ton of pictures with you and the wee one, so choose your favorite design accordingly.

8. Nursing tanks! Don't futz with bras. Go with tanks. And make sure you like them. I can't say enough good things about the Bravado tanks. At close to fifty bucks a pop, they do break the bank a bit, but oh how they're worth it. The flaps come down entirely, rather than just coming down to reveal a circle through which you nurse (as Target tanks and most other do). That might not make sense until you really look at nursing tanks, but I promise. If you have any sort of fullness in your chest (and you will, with milk), go for the Bravado. They are thick and high quality and worth it. And they come in really big sizes for the really well-endowed.

9. Cardigans. Comfortable ones. Because at times your room will be a tropical jungle (e.g., during baby's first bath when she's naked and the room needs to be warm), and at times it will be extra chilly (e.g., if you married a Polar Bear, like me). Be prepared.

10. Yoga pants. Not tight, but also not too flowy and loose. And when you're spending all that time sitting in bed, try to sit with your legs out straight rather than criss-crossed like I did for the first three days. It'll help with the healing.

-----------------------

So there you have it. A packing list, another packing list, and extra tidbits thrown in for good luck. What other things do you wish you had (or hadn't) taken to the hospital, experienced moms?

The Compact: Six Month Report

2011-04-21T15:22:00.002-04:00

About six months ago, I decided to give The Compact a shot. I made some rules for myself and focused on buying less stuff. At first, I had lofty ideas about how much money I'd be saving and how wonderful it would be after my six-month Compact trial to be swimming in all my saved-up spending money. Well, that wasn't quite the way it happened. But it wasn't a failure, either.

At first, I was really good. Such is the case with most things we set our minds to. I didn't spend any money. At first, it was really difficult to see all the things I wanted to have and not be able to buy them. But before long, I realized that for about 98% of the stuff I want, if I wait two weeks or so, I won't even be able to remember what it was that I was so intent on having. It was a good realization.

I had a little heap of spending money saved up after a while, and I heard that my brother's girlfriend was throwing him a surprise 30th birthday party. Could I miss my brother's only surprise 30th birthday party? I think not. So I sent my hard-won cash off to Delta and our little family flew home for a very short trip (thanks, Delta, for cutting it even shorter with your unnecessary flight cancellations). Technically, this trip still followed the rules of the Compact because you are allowed to spend money on travel. I was even good about the usual Airport pitfalls and only spent a few bucks on food when we were trapped at LaGuardia for what felt like days.

For Christmas, we did buy people stuff as I ran out of time and creative juices to completely hand-make gifts. But we were pretty reasonable, I think. More thoughtful about how and where we spent our gift money than we've been in the past.

So it went after Christmas... I stayed pretty true to the Compact. I even had a week-long trip to San Francisco where I bought not one tchotchke and I spent only some money I was gifted for my birthday (on some clothes for Evelyn and an overpriced drugstore umbrella when it suddenly poured on our way to Fisherman's Wharf).

It was only a few weeks ago that I reached the limit with the meager offerings of my closet and Jonathan convinced me that it was okay and we really could go spend a little bit at Old Navy. So away we went. I got some sunglasses (my Dolce and Obama's from the DC tourist stand had a terrible run-in with Jonathan's shoe), a couple cardigans, a dress, a tank top, a shirt, and a skirt and it was something like $100. I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach when that popped up on the register. But I consoled myself with the fact that most of the clothing in my closet had seen better days as I wore it for probably a few years before, then during, and now almost a year after pregnancy. And it wasn't the highest-quality stuff in the first place.

Anyhow, as I was saying, I haven't really saved money. I've spent my spending money as it came to me every month. But I've spent it on things like airline tickets to go home, concert tickets to give myself a night out with a friend, livingsocial deals so we can eat out at a reasonable price, yarn for crocheting gifts or hats for Evelyn, fabric for gifts or blankets... You get the idea.

Less stuff, more life.

I've also become friends with the library again. And I've found the best places to hunt for deals on second-hand clothes for Evelyn (not a problem at all anymore now though thanks to some incredibly generous family members donating hand-me-downs!). And I met with a friend yesterday who gave me a mini-lesson in couponing and bargain-hunting so I can be more mindful of how we spend our food money. (This is not the Extreme Couponing type of plan - she is a level-headed and smart woman who only uses coupons for quality stuff and food her family eats and not junk they won't or shouldn't really have. I figure, like she said, if I can get Method soap, Aveeno bodywash, toothpaste, and detergent for free and it doesn't take too much of my time - then why not?)

There are still things I'd like. Mostly house stuff like these two Ikea cabinets we've wanted for the living room, this table and bench/chair set we love from World Market, wood floors... And clothes like bras that aren't nursing bras (because that's all I have that fits even though I don't need them anymore), tanks that aren't nursing tanks, snappy clothes appropriate for work and internship next year... A second car to make the internship situation work next year... The list will probably go on forever. But there's much less little stuff on that list.

I'll keep working on mindful spending, consuming less, reusing, recycling, sharing and borrowing.

Riding Lawnmower

2011-04-18T14:58:00.003-04:00

Evelyn ALWAYS wants to be outside lately, and her activity of choice is this. She makes a beeline to her "lawnmower" and climbs in, facing backwards, and then gives us her best little puppy-dog eyes and squeaks and gestures until we (usually me) relent and give her a ride around the yard.

This video was taken on April 9th, when she first sat in the cart and I first made the fatal mistake of pulling her around the yard for a ride. Now it's all she can think about doing!

Snail soup?

2011-04-15T01:43:00.005-04:00

Baila con tu amigitos!

Tonight Evelyn performed with her class in the school's International Festival. It was more of a Latin Festival. All of the school staff dressed up in costumes related to their countries of origin and the classes all performed songs and dances from different countries. Then we all feasted on food from all over the world.

I had a feeling Evelyn might like the singing and dancing, just based on her teachers' reports of how much she was enjoying all of the practices the classes did in the past few weeks. And enjoy it she did! As soon as the music started, Evelyn was moving around to the beat. Not long after that, she stood up to really get into it (whose child is this with the dancing proclivity?!) and then she grabbed some drumsticks and played the drum a little just for good measure.

I caught the end of her song, just as she realized that drumsticks were great for playing music, but would be even better for eating.

The song that Evelyn's class (Los Abejitos) performed was about snail soup. Or... snails taking a bath... at least I think snails were in there somewhere. My translation skills clearly leave something to be desired. Either way, it was a fun song and the wee ones seemed to like it.

After her song and dance, Evelyn wanted to spend most of the time walking around. So did a bunch of other older kids, and she loved that. Whenever one would zip past her, she would just grin from ear to ear. She must have been thinking of her cousin Linus.

In other school-related events, they recently had a science fair and my heart was all aflutter when I saw her class's display with big cards advertising phrases like "hypotheses" and "analysis" and such... Upon closer inspection they were just teacher bulletin board decorations strewn about all willy-nilly. Perhaps 13 months is just a smidge too young for the scientific method? Evelyn and her friends were just adorable in the pictures of the science projects they did (making gooey dough, coloring water, some other stuff I can't recall).

And finally, the mouse fell and smacked her nose on a table at school today and got a little battle scar to prove it. Welcome to toddlerhood.

A Good School?

2011-04-12T10:34:00.002-04:00

What makes a school a good school?

We had this discussion in class this morning and it got us all thinking quite a bit about how we quantify good schools. Typically, schools are rated based on student achievement scores on standardized achievement tests. Schools get report cards based on these scores. Parents look at report cards and see the school's rank or grade, and schools become good or bad. If they have the means to do so, some families actually move for the sole reason of being districted for the good schools. And that kinda makes sense, right?

But that's putting an awful lot of faith in a complicated and flawed metric for assessing good. Achievement tests themselves are limited snapshots of students' academic abilities. Even if you accept that these tests are valid and reliable measures of student learning, you have to consider the bigger picture or rating schools based on mean student achievement scores. There are certain subgroups of students whose scores on achievement tests tend to be lower than others. If a school has a relatively high percentage of students designated as economically disadvantaged, of limited English proficiency, or with documented disabilities, odds are that this school's achievement scores will be lower than a school whose population does not include many students in these groups. Or, to put it crudely, school full of rich white kids = high achievement; school with more economically and culturally diverse population = lower achievement. At least as measured by these sorts of achievement tests.

So what is good?

I've spent some time in schools widely recognized as good schools. The ones that parents move to get their kids into. I've spent some time in schools where parents aren't waiting at the door to get their children enrolled. And I've seen incredible teachers in both schools. Teachers who do their jobs well still captivate me - they differentiate instruction for each student, they manage behavior as well as academics, they integrate curriculum, they work with other educators and parents. You could pay them $100,000 per year and I'd still say they deserved more. I've also seen teachers who probably should - and probably want to - be somewhere else. Good teachers, bad teachers. They're in good schools and bad schools.

If you look at it just from a measurement perspective, and you consider all of the potential confounding variables influencing one overall judgment of a school as good or bad, it only makes sense to try to pare down that assessment. Look at it on the classroom level and you'll see that kids in bad schools can get an excellent education with the right teacher. Or kids in good schools can suffer with the wrong teacher. So I think it comes down to teachers. Which is why I'm okay with teacher accountability... although of course we'd have to find a pretty good way to measure what makes teachers good or bad.

If you live in North Carolina, you can access school report cards here. I'd encourage you to read them carefully, and not just take one piece as the single indicator of a school's quality. Be skeptical of the "word on the street" assessments of one school as good or bad - ask questions about why people think a certain school is better or worse.

I foresee Evelyn going to public schools - whichever one we're districted for, wherever we live (which probably won't be determined by the school). So I don't anticipate much, if any, school shopping in my future. But I do still have things I'd like in a school, and if our public school is weak in one of these areas then I hope that I can work with other parents and educators to improve it. And I'm privileged enough to have the time and resources to work with my child outside of school to give her the extra support she might not get if she is with a "bad" teacher for a year. Anyhow, here's a list of some things that I think matter more than achievement test scores in my assessment of a good school:

- Parental involvement: Parents are a welcome and active part of the school community, beyond PTA. The school reaches out to parents. You see parents in the classrooms on a regular basis. Parents reach out to other parents.

- Cultural, economic, and academic diversity: Students and their families represent a range of cultures, languages, economic statuses, and academic skills.

- Recess: Outside, generally unstructured, twice-a-day recess.

- Arts: In an age of increasing emphasis on reading, math, and writing proficiency, I like a school that still finds a way to cling to the arts.

- Resources: I like a school with supports available for struggling students, regardless of whether my student is the one struggling.

- Universal screening for academic and social/emotional issues, starting in kindergarten: Because a girl can dream... I think we really ought to screen every child at least twice yearly on proficiency in all core subjects as well as social and emotional functioning.

- Play-based kindergarten (rather than academically-based, reflecting the downward thrust of curriculum): Because there are good, longitudinal, conclusive studies that if you want to create positive academic outcomes that maintain beyond the elementary-school years, you need to give kids play-based kindergartens. They are developmentally appropriate and they will give you the gains you are trying to get with academic kindergartens. Actually, they will give you greater academic gains.

Oh, and good teachers, of course. But sometimes it takes a bad one to know the good ones, so I'll take a school with a few of those thrown in. And why do I have recess and arts on the list? Because if a school can keep those, it tells me something about that school's administration - something good. It tells me that they care about the research on the importance of physical activity and arts to children's functioning well-being and academic functioning. And it tells me about the administration's strength to buck the trend to abandon arts and recess and have kids sitting at desks trying to raise their end-of-year achievement scores all day.

**************
Alright, that's my school talk for now. Evelyn's been doing all sorts of earth-shattering stuff lately I have posts all ready to go except for the video... which needs to be edited... which hasn't happened... *sigh*

A Book List.

2011-04-09T18:54:00.008-04:00

A friend has been asking and patiently waiting for me to share a list of the books I read when preparing to have a baby. Tonight I say, "Wait no more!" Here's the list.

Birth: The Surprising History of How We Are Born (Tina Cassidy)

I checked this one out from the library during the early part of the summer of 2009, when I was just starting to think seriously about actually having a baby. It was a quick read. Well-written. Full of things I did not know about the long history of childbirth worldwide and in the United States. I can't recall whether Cassidy gave a summary of the origins of some of the popular childbirth prep models in this book, but I know that after reading it I went to the library to grab:

Husband-Coached Childbirth (Robert Bradley)

I had only really ever heard about Lamaze childbirth classes. And I'm not sure why, but once I read the first little blub about Bradley's method, I liked it. So I laid by the pool and read the book. Aaaaah, to be young and without responsibilities again. :) I think I read the whole thing, but there were some sections that were more skim-worthy as Bradley can be a bit verbose and I wasn't pregnant yet so I wasn't relating to some of it.

Then we found out we were pregnant, and I got free books! Hooray!

The Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy (that link takes you to the new May 2011 edition, with an annoying cover... but more on my cover-based book-judging later)

I actually checked this out right when we found out we were pregnant, but a few weeks later my very own copy arrived in the mail courtesy of my health insurance provider. Not too shabby. It's a good reference book, and I liked reading it every week to see what new things lil' Evelyn was up to as she grew.

Our Bodies, Ourselves: Pregnancy and Birth

This one was a freebie from the WBWC, my favorite birth center ever and the place where (fingers crossed) I hope to have my next baby. They "give" the book to all of their patients and then they also have a pretty awesome lending library in-house with tons of other good resources. I found this book to be informative but perhaps a bit redundant with what I'd already read. The WBWC tends to use this book and others in their library instead of the popular What to Expect When You're Expecting, due to some controversy surrounding the latter title. (And maybe also because the cover of Our Bodies is like ten zillion times more appealing than the quilted rocking-chair, knitting weird cover on What to Expect? Or maybe that's just me?)

That reminds me... When I survived to reach the 20-weeks pregnant mark, I treated myself with the purchase of this gem:

What to Expect When You're Expected: A Fetus's Guide to the First Three Trimesters

Hiiiiiilarious. A good reminder not to get too wrapped up and serious about every single teeny tiny thing about pregnancy.

There were a few other titles as well, some of which I just skimmed or didn't like as much as those above:

- Belly Laughs (Jenny McCarthy): not horrible, but I have a hard time listening to Jenny as an authority on... well... lots of things.

- Birthing from Within: this is another birth method, which incorporates a big spiritual and artistic component into pregnancy and childbirth

- The Happiest Baby on the Block: I skimmed it, but I'd recommend just watching the DVD to learn the big 5 secrets and then USE THEM BECAUSE THEY WORK. Oooooh, the shushing. I got so lightheaded from the shushing.

- The Bradley Method Workbook: Read it and used it during our 12-week Bradley childbirth prep class. Have you heard about my obsession with Bradley birth and my love for our Bradley instructor? I'm serious. This class was one of the best things we did for ourselves and Evelyn, and we'll probably take it again with the next pregnancy.

So that is that. Happy reading!

And for anyone on baby watch around these parts, well, I've wanted another since about an hour after Evelyn's birth. However, it would probably be wise to finish school and get a job before adding to the family. So... now you know why I've been working so hard this semester ;)

22,750 Words

2011-03-26T20:23:00.014-04:00

That's an estimate of how many words I've written over the past ten days... boy are my eyes, fingers, and neurons tired. But (fingers crossed) I'm finished with written prelims. And I give you a photo-documentary of the process...

March 16th. It starts. 48 hours on the clock for two questions from my advisor.

Those obsessive organizational habits served me well. Every time I needed a source, it was right there at my fingertips. The textbooks were highlighted for easy skimming. Thanks, first-year me who took the time to read everything for every class.

I slept Wednesday night (a notable accomplishment during prelims) and awoke to St. Patrick's Day! The only celebration I'd be having was a few minutes of fanfare before Jonathan and Evelyn were out the door to let me work all day. So I forced Jonathan to hold props for a few pictures with my lil' Leprechaun.

I relocated to the living room for some reading and note-taking and thinking... Or, actually, for some K-State basketball watching. We lost, and I was a little relieved so that I could focus on my own March Madness. I paid the price for my unfocused evening by staying up through the night to finish prelim numero uno. It was off to the prof at 6 AM Friday... two hours before deadline!

Then I went to school in full zombie/robot mode with the intention of working on a manuscript review for prof numero dos. But dos accidentally deposited a stack of blank papers in my mailbox in place of a manuscript, and dos was not responding to my frantic calls and emails! I laughed, I cried... I took the weekend off. Not a big deal, in hindsight. I got the manuscript on Monday and got a pass for some extra time to finish the review.

Monday night after Evelyn was all snug in bed, tick tock. The clock was on for numero tres. At least I had some companions to keep me company that night.

And the next day, I spent some quality time in the living room and on the hammock reading, note-taking, and thinking. By this point, location change-ups were not just a good idea; they were mandatory, according to my creaky and caffeine-laden body.

Oh and I forgot to note that so far both of my timed questions were secretly a little bit fun to tackle. I got to pull together knowledge from various courses, exercise some creativity, and perfect my google scholar search skills.

On Thursday, the real fun began with my final questions. There was some confusion about the time constraints on this one, but it ended up being less intense than I'd planned which was a nice surprise to encounter. I just had to log the time I spent reading, note-taking, and writing and make sure I didn't pass the 16-hour mark within a 48-hour period. It forced me to sleep, and it freed me up to walk the dog, see a couple clients, have a meeting about my dissertation, and chat with some other Poegatory folks.

And listen to some Guster...

And release some pent-up organizational compulsions on Evelyn's toy area.

But then it was back to work.

I finished where it all began, in Poe Hall. Fueled by coffee and Jimmy John's.

Well, kinda. I finished the timed questions at least. And then I spent most of today finishing that manuscript review. Evelyn helped with the statistics, which I think is allowed since she can't talk (but she might understand them better than I do).

Now we wait. I should know by Friday whether the profs passed me on the writtens. If so, my oral exam is Monday, April 4th at 11:00 AM.

Onward!

One.

2011-03-14T14:33:00.003-04:00

It's amazing what happens in one year. It's clear to me now that having children just pushes the clocks to warp speed and I don't know if time will ever slow down again. Will it go even faster than this year has? I hope not.

There are things I won't miss. Those first weeks of so little sleep that I was dizzy and on the verge of a breakdown over any little thing (I didn't help matters by doing silly things like cleaning the house top to bottom immediately upon returning home from the hospital. Lesson learned). The fear and self-doubt that blanketed me when I couldn't get my baby to nurse. Nightmares that I'd drop her. Again and again those nightmares. The pain of nursing. The forgetfulness (I'm assuming this one might improve?).

But there are so many things I will miss. Those teeny tiny sleepy baby squeaks. That curled-in-a-ball little baby position of the first few weeks. That night in the hospital when it was just me and the Mouse at 2 AM and she latched and I looked at her and just kept saying, "Hey, we did it!" When she first smiled at me on Mother's Day. Watching her wake up to the world around her. Seeing her meet her grandparents, these people who love her so completely. I'll miss the newness of being in the great sisterhood of mothers. I'll miss the calm and quiet routines of those special days where I could stay home from school and work and just have us. I'll miss all the firsts.

And I'll take with me so much hope for the future. I love seeing her every morning. I love to watch as she learns new things. I love watching Jonathan be a dad and talk to his baby girl (Like yesterday, she was having a grumpy day and refused to nap - which made her extra fussy over every little thing. She started crying and flailing about something and I heard Jonathan calmly say, "Evelyn, I know it's hard to control your emotions right how. That's because you're really tired, and you don't have the energy to control your emotions." Be still my therapist heart!). I hope to see her do so many things.

Even though it's a little bit late, happy first birthday to Miss Evelyn Mae!

... and here's a poem I like. Because, why not?

Song for a Fifth Child

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
hang out the washing and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
and out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
but I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

Face forward. Move slow. Forge ahead.

2011-03-13T11:15:00.003-04:00

I'm about to start my written preliminary exams, also known as prelims.

What are they, you ask?

Well... from Monday, March 14th until Friday, March 25th I'll be writing responses to questions from my four dissertation committee members. They can pretty much ask whatever they'd like, and they can tell me what they'll ask in advance or not. They can give me as many hours or days as they want for their questions. So far, here's what I know:

1. Dr. Friendly will give me the full 12 days to do an extended article review. (3/14-3/25)

2. Dr. Calm will give me 48 hours to respond to two questions relevant to areas where information is missing or incomplete in my dissertation proposal document right now. (3/16 and 3/17)

3. Dr. Practical will give me 24 hours to develop and critique a clinical family intervention program. (3/23)

4. Dr. Mystery... is still a mystery. I'm not sure when or what I'll be doing for this one. The organizer and planner in me just loves that it's still up in the air with less than 24 hours before prelims start.

Once the writtens are done, I wait a while so my committee can determine whether I passed the written part. Then I meet in front of the ~~firing squad~~ committee on April 4th at 11:00 AM for oral prelims. It's a two-hour meeting during which my committee can ask me anything and everything they want and I have to give acceptable responses.

The reward?

I get to propose my dissertation! Will the fun never end?!

I have to propose my diss before May 13th to be allowed to go on internship next year (if I'm offered an internship position). The deadline means that nothing can go wrong with my written or oral prelims, and no scheduling issues or emergencies can arise between now and May 13th. Fingers crossed, people.

In the meantime I still have coursework and clinic work and all that jazz. Oh and raising a baby who is dangerously close to walking. *Shew*

Something I can live without.

2011-02-28T18:25:00.003-05:00

It's a pretty typical Monday today. We're experiencing an awesome spring thunderstorm. The mouse is in bed and our dinner is in the oven. We'll probably watch some Arrested Development before we both get some work done. Nothing too exciting.

Except...

Today is absolutely thrilling for me in one big way. Because today is the last day I'm spending quality time the pump. We've been constant companions, the pumps and I, since the day Evelyn was born. I pretty much hated pumping from that day onward. But I did it. I sat with both hands on the bottles*. Sometimes I felt trapped. Sometimes I heard the pump talking to me as it undulated. Sometimes I counted the seconds when I didn't have a clock handy, to be sure that I pumped for 15 minutes (that's 900 seconds, in case you were wondering). Sometimes it hurt and sometimes it was relief from various pains I'd have when nursing. Sometimes I'd choose pumping over eating or going to the bathroom, when time was scarce between classes.

But it was worth it.

The laws of supply and demand worked and I kept making enough milk even when Evelyn was teeny tiny and not strong enough to get it herself yet. I made extra milk to store for her so she'd have some while I was in class, or meetings, or with clients, or at a week-long conference in San Francisco last week.

And now (thanks in part to that trip which forced our hand a little...) we've started to make the switch to whole cow's milk. Sometimes mixed with my milk, but increasingly less so. I still nurse in the morning and before bed. Evelyn hasn't minded at all. I may or may not have cried about it already. But I'm not crying about the end to pumping. Not one tear will be shed for that. In fact, I think it calls for a celebration.

*Maybe next time around I'll spring for one of these. They look absolutely ridiculous, but if I could use my hands during those countless 15 minute sessions, oh the things I could have accomplished. Jonathan just saw that and suggested that I could wear the pump as a backpack (it comes in a backpack carrier) and walk around and pump. Brilliant.

Las palabras de Evelyn

2011-02-11T19:11:00.010-05:00

Evelyn sees me working on the computer so much lately that she wanted to give it a try and give mom a rest from staring at the screen. So here's Evelyn's report on her own academic life thus far. It's never too early to start the CV, right?

I wake up pretty early on school days. I think it's around 6. That's what I'm told. I stare at my mobiles and think for a while and then start to explore my crib and hum a little to get mom to come pick me up. We eat and then I try to catch a nap in bed with dad while mom gets ready for the day.

Getting ready seems awfully complicated. I play while mom and dad run around getting themselves ready, packing armfuls of bags for me and mom and all our school stuff for the day, and sorting out my food and milk with labels and all. It's a lot of work. My parents are pretty awesome for doing all that in the morning.

Then we head to the car. If I'm having a particularly cute day, we stop and take a picture on the way.

I think the ride to school is something like "half an hour" whatever that means. I say it's long enough to squeeze in a power nap so I'm ready to go when I get to school.

... Because when I get to my classroom, there are things to DO! One of my favorite things to do is this:

I try to figure it out, but so far I can't say I'm sure who that smart and talented baby is. She's looking right at me. My friend Clayton likes to play with me too. Well, he did before he moved into a new classroom with the other one-year-olds. I think we'll be reunited though.

After some playtime and the all-important snack and milk break, I sometimes partake in an art project or two. One of my early works, "La Flor," was even featured in our class's art show a couple months back.

I'm always up for some literacy time too. Miss Cristina makes the books so much fun. I try to climb right in her lap during storytime.

I might take a quick nap here and there at school, but there's just so much to do that I can never sleep for long. Even when it's cold, we are sure to go outside for at least a few minutos every day. One of my favorite things about going outside is the buggy ride to and from the playground. Even mom admits that she wishes she could ride in the buggy. Here I am with my friends Finn, Meadow, Monica, Jack, and Lorenzo. We're one cool hive of Abejitas, if I do say so myself.

I couldn't get mom to take pictures of our music time, but we sing and play instruments every day too and I love it. There's this one song where Miss Cristina asks us all to scream and I am all about that!

Next week I hear that we're having a little celebration for Valentine's Day and I'm told that my favorite dog Olive gets to visit our classroom! We're learning all about animals and I'm going to meet some of my friends' pets too. Pretty cool, right?

Well, that's about it for now. School wears me out but I do love it.

And every day I love him...

2011-01-31T15:09:00.004-05:00

... just a little bit more.

Happy 28th Birthday to Jonathan! I have a chocolate cake with peanut butter cups in the oven and a little one down for a nap so she'll be all bright and cheerful for her dad's big day. While the mouse and I are at our first sign language class today (I know, I know... I'm that mom), Jonathan will be at the dentist. Tonight we're going to watch Inception together, which is part of Jonathan's present (I usually don't watch things he really likes to watch so it's turned into a good "bonus gift" standby that I agree to stay awake and watch and discuss something he likes). Here's to a good day and a great year!

Odds and Ends

2011-01-27T19:59:00.003-05:00

Chelsea = Robot

I keep coming across things I've meant to share here. So I'll make a list. I need lists these days.

1. I'm going to show you that cute little picture and certificate from the day we went to the Duke Infant Cognition Center and Evelyn participated in her first psychology experiment. Made her mama proud!

2. Pictures of Evelyn's artwork. There's quite a bit of finger-painting (oh, sorry, dactilopintura) happening at school lately. Her teachers are mighty brave to paint with the wee ones, I say.

3. There's school drama to keep you interested, as usual. This semester's theme seems to be my overwhelming ambivalence about working like mad to get through written prelims, oral prelims, and proposing my dissertation. That on top of crazy amounts of reading and writing other papers for classes. And working long days in the clinic. Shew. The reward? Possibly nabbing an unpaid internship next year. Or, possibly, not. See why I'm ambivalent?

4. Next weekend I have my sewing class! I haven't touched my new sewing machine yet (seriously) so I have everything to learn. I'm excited and I hope that I don't forget it all between that class and whenever I have time to use it again... 2012?

5. The Compact and The Bartel Challenge continue. Updates needed, I know!

But in the meantime, I'll be working on my CV, dissertating, digging myself out from the mountain of work in the clinic, preparing for a week in San Francisco next month, mothering, wifeing, and so on and so forth.

Welcome, Tooth O

2011-01-20T20:33:00.002-05:00

Today we met Evelyn's first tooth.

The primary mandibular left central incisor*...

Tooth O.

Evelyn has not been especially thrilled with her first tooth's arrival, but she hasn't seemed to be in extreme pain or anything either.

Oh, she also got a sticker in her journal at school yesterday for pulling up to standing all by herself! She's getting pretty eager to walk these days, but I've found that you can't predict much about babies. They can seem "on the verge" of some new trick and take 4 months to get there, or they can wake up from a nap and start walking. They like to keep us adults guessing.

So there's your Evelyn update. She has her first eye appointment with the optometrist on Monday as well... let's all keep our fingers crossed that she has her mother's eyes and her father's teeth!

*I am a bit of a dental nerd. Mostly because one of my pastimes seems to be hanging out at the dentist's office and he and the hygenist use their fancy dental-speak and start going on about my mesial occlusal #2 or something like that... so I always go look it up to crack the code and learn exciting things like... "there's a big cavity on the front of the chewing surface on your second molar" and such. Now you know.

The Challenge: Week 2

2011-01-17T08:37:00.005-05:00

Some weeks are better when they're over. Like, oh, say... week two of the Bartel Challenge. I was thrust back into school, our schedules were all out of whack, Jonathan made this delicious "Lighter General Tso's Chicken" with half the meat and double the veggies. That last one should probably be a good thing, but it's bad news when it's so delicious that between the two of us we at the whole thing (4 servings) for dinner. Yikes!

So bottom line, each of us gained a little this week. Not a lot. Not anything near where we started, but a little. We're not freaking out about it or anything. It's a good learning experience to see that, yes, our hard work the first week was indeed worth it. And, no, we can't just sit back and relax (literally) and expect to see the same thing happen in week two.

But in better news, I did score a killer deal on this*:

Now that the Mouse is 10 and a half months old, it was probably time to get a stroller, right? (We had been borrowing one from Evelyn's cousin for far too long now.) I found this one, used maybe 3 times before, from a really nice girl on Craigslist. A mere 80 bones later, it was mine! (That might sound like a lot, but it's really not. Especially when you consider that my dream stroller is about six times what I paid for this one.) So far we've tested it out a couple of times, exploring a really nice greenway near Jonathan's office. we're both happy with it so far! The back shocks are wonderful, it's easy to steer, and the handle is height-adjustable, which I love.

If we can just figure out how to make the sun rise at about 5 AM and not set until 9 PM or so, I'll be all set with running on weekdays.

*Dont' worry, buying used is always okay with The Compact. I'll update you on that endeavor sometime this week since I'm at the halfway point!

Top Ten (Months)

2011-01-11T19:14:00.004-05:00

Our Mouse is ten months old (yesterday)! Here's her Top Ten:

10. She is still a little bit skeptical and only gives her biggest, most carefree smiles to her cousin Linus. She will smile more in general when watching toddlers of any age, though. She's in awe of them.

9. She waves when we say hola, hello, bye-bye, or adios. Sometimes this takes some modeling, but sometimes it's just automatic. I love it the most when she's nursing early in the morning and I look down and say really softly, "Hi, sweet Evelyn" and she gives me a little wave while she eats.

8. She will do her little commando crawl (belly on the floor, pulling with her arms and pushing with her legs) to get anywhere she wants to be. This generally means that she'll leave whatever room I leave her in for a second and come find me cooking in the kitchen or doing laundry in the hallway.

7. She has her first piece in her school's art show this week. It's titled "Flor" and is in the "dactilopintura" style popular with the youth.

6. She is a total ham for our photographer. She was super grumpy at her 9-month meeting with Christina but still she decided to throw out some poses. (Seriously... we didn't put her in this position at all. We had her sitting up and she just put herself down on the floor and then vogue-d it.)

5. She'll eat just about anything, any time.

4. She loves straws and she'll drink through them. This makes life super easy when we find ourselves out for lunch with no sippy cup in sight.

3. She's started to let us know exactly what she wants, sometimes throwing micro-hissy fits if we take away something she was dead set on playing with (just the usual suspects... scissors, sewing needles, electical cords...)

2. Still no teeth!

1. It's super cheesy, but good grief we love this baby. I caught a little bit of that show "Say Yes to the Dress" this week and this girl's mom was crying at seeing her daughter find a wedding dress and I was holding Evelyn and I just started crying. I'm overcome with love. I have to hang on to these feelings to get me through the toddler years. And the adolescent years.

The Challenge: Week 1

2011-01-09T19:45:00.003-05:00

The results of our first week of the Bartel Challenge are in, and so far it's an exact tie. I have lost 8 pounds and Jonathan has lost 16, but we're going with percentage of weight lost, and when you run those numbers we're exactly even. Isn't that cute?

We are both really happy. We haven't done anything crazy this week, and we hope to not do anything crazy in the future. That way this can be sustainable and as they say, a lifestyle change rather than some crash diet/exercise thing that disappears. We've gone out to eat. We've indulged a little (hello, GIANT piece of chocolate raspberry cake with ganache at the baby shower this afternoon...). But we've also cooked at home a lot more, eaten smaller portions, and made it a point to move a little more. Nothing crazy, like I said.

Adios, 4% of me that I had a week ago. You will not be missed.

The Newness of You

2011-01-06T20:31:00.002-05:00

I've been changing it up every so often around here in blogland. I think I've finally settled on a layout that I'll stick with for a while. Hope you like it. I'll be back to staring at computer screens much more regularly now that school is gearing up again, so fear not... there will be more blogging! I think the next few months of posts will incorporate a few broad topics:

1. The Bartel Challenge... in which we move a little more, eat a little less, and try out all sorts of new recipes here at home.

2. The Compact... three months in and I'm not completely failing.

3. The Mouse... who is coming up with all sorts of new tricks she'd like to showcase for you. And turning one all too soon.

4. School... because, yes, I'm still in school and, yes, I've just about had my fill of formal education. And I'm supposed to find an internship, pass written and oral prelims, defend my dissertation proposal, and stay afloat in classes and assistantship responsibilities this semester.

So stay tuned, dear readers.

Food!

2011-01-03T20:01:00.007-05:00

"Food is an important part of a balanced diet."
Fran Lebowitz

An important part of our efforts to make better eating choices is being more intentional about cooking and eating at home. Luckily, even though I'm definitely not the world's greatest at it, I really enjoy planning meals and cooking and trying new recipes. So here's our plan for dinners for the next two weeks.

Slow Cooker Pot Roast
Veggie Curry (with Chicken)
Mini Honey-Mustard Meatloaves with Roasted Potatoes
Slow Cooker Lemon Chicken (from this cookbook, one of my favorites)
Shrimp with Scallions and Crispy Potatoes
Lighter General Tso's Chicken
Slow Cooker Beef Stew (with about 1/2 the beef and double the veggies called for... another "Fix it and Forget it" recipe)
Brown Rice Bowl with Shrimp, Snow Peas, and Avocado
Spicy Coconut Chicken Casserole
Slow Cooker Tuna Noodle Casserole ("Fix it and Forget it" again... I just love throwing it all in the crock pot and not being a rush after school/work)
Seared-Steak Fajitas
Ratatouille with Whole-Wheat Pasta
Cayenne-Rubbed Chicken with Avocado Salsa

Tonight I started things off with the veggie curry. It's in the "1-2-3" section of Everyday Food, and it was surprisingly quick and easy. I'm usually a little bit dubious about Martha's estimated time and effort notes for recipes, because they often call for things like "cooked, cubed chicken" or "peeled, quartered potatoes" and she's not factoring in the time and energy that go into preparing the ingredient list itself. So I started early, at 4 PM, to make sure dinner would be ready by 6 or so. Turns out everything was ready well before 5, which allowed me to squeeze in a 45-minute run around the neighborhood before dark (take THAT, Jonathan! I'm totally going to win the competition). And I didn't even make a huge mess in the kitchen. This recipe only required one small saucepan for the rice and one large heavy pot for the curry (it called for a dutch oven, which reminded me of dreams to one day own one of these... but then I snapped back to reality and found a big old hand-me-down pot).

Anyway, here are my ingredients all neatly gathered. Don't expect this much detail for all the meals listed here. That would take up far too much blog space and I know you'd rather look at Evelyn than a head of cauliflower.

And mere minutes later, we had this:

The recipe says it has 4 servings, but Jonathan and I both had what we'd consider sizeable portions and there was much more than half the batch left. It was pretty good, and definitely filling. It could certainly use more spice though. Red pepper flakes? More curry paste? I'm not sure what the best approach is to increase the kick in a curry dish. But like I said, not too bad. Oh, and we are still huge fans of Everyday Food Magazine. Totally worth the cost. I'm excited to mine our old issues for recipes we haven't tried, and to pull out the old standbys like #13 up above.

The cooking adventures will continue. Bon appetit!

And soon, perhaps I'll get to be half as awesome as my sister-in-law at sewing and I can do a little sewing post here and there. I have a "Getting to Know Your Machine" sewing class on February 5th so be prepared for some exciting posts once I learn how to do some amazing sewing feats such as turning on the machine, threading it, et cetera...

All is quiet on New Year's Day

2011-01-01T18:17:00.002-05:00

Happy 2011! It'll be tough to top 2010, but I'm still looking forward to whatever this year has in store for me and those I love.

Jonathan and I rang in the new year with some friends in Raleigh. There was Rock Band, tasty wine, meatballs, conversation, a precious 8-week-old baby (daughter of the host and hostess), and... a flat tire when we went out to our car to head home. Luckily a few of the guys came out to give Jonathan a hand and made quick work of the tire change.

Evelyn has been pretty sleepy today. We went on a long walk to explore some new (to us) parts of the neighborhood and try out the new big wagon. Evelyn was pretty ambivalent about the whole thing. But she did like to throw her ball over the side of the wagon and make us fetch.

I usually try to stay pretty minimal or vague with the resolutions, but this year we're jumping on the health bandwagon and doing a little 90-day challenge to start '11 off right. Jonathan and I are challenging each other to make healthier eating and exercise decisions and thereby lose weight. On April 1st, 2010, there will be a final weigh-in and the loser (based on percentage of weight lost) has to give the winner his/her spending money for the following month. It's not a huge prize, but the big prize is actually doing it. Having more energy, and being healthier as Evelyn starts to get more mobile and more into eating with us as well. So I'm excited. I know I won't be excited about it every day for the next 89 days, but today it's been good. One day at a time. I did register for a 1/2 marathon on March 20th, and signing up (and paying) for races is always pretty good motivation to keep up with the exercise side of things.

Evelyn's resolutions: learn to walk, learn to eat, talk a little... seriously, my aspirations pale in comparison to the amazing and huge changes cognitively and physically that babies have as they grow.

Inspiration

2010-12-29T18:24:00.004-05:00

We've been working on the office here at Casa Bartel, and I'm starting to settle in to my cozy little wasacloset desk. You can see it a little bit here. It's one of the perks of moving in to a house formerly owned by a guy who was pretty handy with woodworking projects.

But you can see from the photo that my new dissertation creation station is lacking in inspiration! (I don't even try - the brilliance just pours forth from my fingertips like that. My advisor is in a state of bliss every time he reads a draft, I'm certain.)

I'm kinda addicted to Quotables. I'm sure you've seen them. Simple, graphic cards and books and coasters et cetera with some killer quotations. Addicted. Like, I'm fixin' to break my compact ban and buy myself this 2011 calendar (and you know it's serious when I choose the Quotable calendar over my other love, Demotivators). But I'm also hoping to have some inspirational quotes and thoughts that I can swap out every few days just to keep things interesting.

So, do you have a couple of quotes or thoughts that you love and carry with you? Care to share with me? I'm hoping to come up about 150 or so for this project. Thanks and share away!

Evelyn's Favorite Things

2010-12-22T18:51:00.007-05:00

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels? Yes, of course. But Evelyn has a few other favorite things, too. Her joy is apparent in every photo.

She likes... hanging out with Pop Pop:

Snuggling with Dad:

Playing in the snow with Momo (Sing with us in a frantic, screaming voice for this one - "Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes!"):

And, more than anything else, Evelyn LOVES Santa Claus:

Santa visited Evelyn's class at school today and even had a special present with her name on it. Evelyn was the only one who cried. I think it had more to do with me handing her to Santa than the bearded man himself.

We've been staying busy getting ready for Evelyn's first Christmas!

The Weather Outside is (Allegedly) Frightful

2010-12-16T12:26:00.003-05:00

Gratuitous, unrelated picture. I couldn't wait 'til Christmas to post it.

It's our third winter in North Carolina and I'm still not used to the panic that even a forecast of frozen precipitation induces. Seriously, people. It's not really "frigid" until the temperature is near ZERO. "Near freezing" isn't enough to justify all the excitement I see around here.

That's my two cents for the day. I just had to vent about the non-event that is a teensy snow/ice "storm" and share a picture from Evelyn's nine-month photo shoot yesterday. She was pretty grouchy so I'm surprised the photographer caught this shot. I'm excited to see the rest!

Today will be spent cleaning, going to the post office to mail Christmas cards, hitting up Whole Foods for some goodies, and... that's about as exciting as it gets!

Son las nueve meses

2010-12-11T01:29:00.004-05:00

Today Evelyn is nine months old. Ridiculous, right? Lest I forget, here are some fun facts about Miss Mousekowitz (one of our current fav nicknames):

Stats: Weight 17 lb. 7 oz. (33rd percentile), Height 27 inches (41st percentile), Giant Head 18 inches (94th percentile)... and yet she still wears almost nothing smaller than size 12-18 months.
Academic milestones (seriously...): We had our first report card and parent-teacher conferences (in Spanish!) this week. It is the most detailed report card I've ever seen and it puts the little questionnaires that the pediatrician gives us about her development to shame. E got excellent marks but needs to work on some gross motor skills, so we're working at home and school to encourage her to build strength in her legs through supported standing and to help her position her body in hands-and-knees, "ready to crawl" position.
She doesn't make us work quite so hard for smiles anymore. Or maybe we're just finally figuring out what makes her giggle.
She still absolutely, unquestionably adores her cousin Linus. He could scream and squeeze her head all day and she would just smile and smile and smile.
She makes lots of babbling noises, but no official first word yet. I'm pretty picky about what counts though, so it could be a while.
She eats just about anything, save honey and cow's milk and a couple other things. And she's not really picky.
She continues to be a champion sleeper, which is earning her top billing in the acknowledgments section of my dissertation. I honestly could not do what I need to do for school if she didn't sleep so well.
She can almost always fall asleep, or at least calm all the way down, if you just give her a very soft blanket to hold and rub on her face and access to her thumb for sucking.

And as for me, a paper and a test... that's what separates me from the end of my 11th semester of grad school. Can you believe I only have three more semesters to go? That's a magic number.

Cousins

2010-12-04T20:35:00.000-05:00

The Hungry Thing*

2010-12-03T15:10:00.008-05:00

I've been meaning to do a baby food post for a while. Today I played hooky from school which left me plenty of time for laundry, baking cookies and coffee cakes, watching Big Love, crocheting, cleaning, and hanging out with my mom and my mouse. And just enough time to churn out this here post for you, dear reader. Bon appetit.

I usually start with a trip to the grocery for some tasty-looking produce. Fresh or frozen (with no salt or other questionable additives) - either one is good. Staples around these parts of late are: butternut squash, carrots, frozen peas, black beans (dried), apples, pears, and broccoli.

Then I head over to my favorite website, Wholesome Baby Food, to figure out the most delicious and nutritious way to prepare the bounty. I like to peel, chop, and bust out the steamer for the most efficient cooking. Although baking makes the house smell super yummy.

After the goods are steamed to perfection, into the food processor they go for a nice long spin. When I first started making food, I'd puree everything for a very long time. Now that Evelyn is getting a little older, though, I let some chunks slide.

After the food processor, I scoop the food into a ziplock bag and snip off a corner to get ready to fill up my ice cube tray and/or Baby Cubes. I'm essentially pretending that I have one of those fancy-pants icing bag things. But I don't. So I use ziplock bags with a corner snipped off and it works just as well. You could use a spoon, I suppose, but I like my method. It's fun.

By the way, Baby Cubes are pretty awesome. And they don't even give me free cubes to say so. They're these 2 oz. plastic cubes with LIDS ATTACHED that seal firmly and are freezable and microwavable and free from all the weird plastic stuff that you'd want them to be free from.

Here we have some pureed chicken and broccoli cubes hanging out in the freezer. (The chicken was really not fun for me to make. I prefer to stick to soaking, cooking, and pureeing beans for protein. Because pureeing chiken? Yuck.)

But if the cubes are full, I just use some ice cube trays to make little servings of whatever I'm cookin' up. It takes 2-3 cubes to equal a full serving for Evelyn these days.

I bag up the cubes after they're frozen and then I have a nice stash of fruits and veggies in the freezer at all times.

It makes the 6 AM get ready for work and school rush so much better when we can just grab some food and go. And I think Evelyn approves of this whole eating thing, too.

Maybe one of these days, she'll even have teeth to help her out!

*This title is that of one of my favorite childhood books. Like some of my other favorites, it's now out of print and selling for $40 for a new copy. While I do appreciate that my mom had impeccable taste in choosing our books, I am beginning to think it'll cost a small fortune to share these gems with my kids.

The Kissing Disease

2010-11-26T18:27:00.002-05:00

Yep, this mama's got mono.

After yet another sleepless night (no fault of Evelyn's, of course), waking up every thirty minutes with a sore throat unlike any other, I decided it was time to head back to the doctor. Student health at NC-State was closed today, so off to Urgent Care I went. I visited them back at the end of September for similar symptoms - though not quite as bad as they are now. I also visited student health twice at the end of October for the same stuff... the sore throat has been pretty much constant since late September, and the other symptoms have come and gone just to keep it interesting (e.g., high fever, sinus pain, neck pain, pink eye).

The doc took a look at my tonsils and confirmed what I already knew - "They're huge and covered in pus." Awesome. He did a strep test. It was my third strep test since late September. I crossed my fingers that it would be positive so I could have an answer, but of course it was not. So we moved on to the prime suspect number two - mononucleosis. The blood test confirmed it, and I was sent home with written instructions to REST AND DRINK FLUIDS. It's a virus so there's really nothing you can do for it but rest and wait.

So the mystery illness that has made me feel icky pretty much all semester has been diagnosed. And now, right before finals week and a few big projects and presentations and clinic appointments and practicum visits... I am supposed to rest. Hmph. I will do my best. I know I've probably already drawn it out by not resting much at all this semester. But to think... I had myself convinced that it was just normal to feel like I'd been hit by a truck. I mean, school, parenting, playing taxi, other life drama... Well, I'm excited to see whether things get a little easier to manage once I get over mono.

P.S. Evelyn enjoyed her first Thanksgiving! I was a little bit busy and/or drinking scalding hot tea all day to try to numb my throat, so I got almost zero pictures. But she had fun. :)

The Compact: I may never buy new baby clothes again.

2010-11-19T08:04:00.003-05:00

I'm about one month in on my commitment to The Compact, a plan to wean myself from some commercialization and waste and stuff. I'm giving periodic updates on the state of things regarding this six-month personal challenge.

Jonathan and I plan our budget such that we each have some spending money every month. I thought that my compact plan would allow me to save all of this money, and then go on a trip or something exciting. Instead, I've been spending it all on yarn with which to make gifts. Mostly baby hats. I think I need to re-negotiate the terms of the spending money if I'm going to use it to make gifts, don't you? I'll work on that.

But yesterday I found a whole new place to spend money. And it isn't even money from the "Chelsea's free money" pot, because it's spent on clothes for Evelyn. The heavens parted to reveal...

USED KIDS' CLOTHING STORES!

Genius. I'd been to The Red Hen and Kid to Kid before, but really just to browse and I never took the time to seriously look. Then yesterday I was on a mission to find a brown and yellow outfit for Evelyn's Thanksgiving performance at school next week and I knew I couldn't buy new, so I went over to Once Upon a Child. Brilliant. Just brilliant. They organize the clothes by color and type (red tops, blue bottoms, sleepwear, etc.) which I love as that's how I organize E's closet. And they have some seriously adorable stuff. And it looks like it's never been worn. Oh how I love it. I get good clothes on the cheap, I'm re-using... there is nothing bad about this situation.

After I left the store I felt like a convert. I wanted to go tell everyone. You don't have to be limited by Target's selection or the current themed wear at Gymboree! There are racks of name-brand and not name-brand stuff for $2 each just waiting for you! Halloween costumes, swings, bouncers, holiday dresses... it's all there. Yep, I'm totally a convert.

Here's Evelyn's haul from yesterday: a hot pink corduroy puffy vest with brown and while polka-dot fleece inside, warm fuzzy holiday-ish PJs, a brown and yellow outfit for the school show, navy fuzzy pants for school (uniform), and I splurged with the headband with interchangeable flower... that kinda breaks the rules but what could I do?

So there you have it. I think it's the perfect balance between hand-me-downs and buying new. You get to choose what you want, but you pay just a couple bones per item. I'm in love.

It tolls for thee.

2010-11-15T16:26:00.003-05:00

No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if a Mannor of thy friends or of thine owne were; any mans death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankinde; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee.
John Donne

I wrote about my dad a while back. He was in the hospital in Denver, suffering from frostbite and I imagine also suffering from fifty years of ups and downs. Of trying to get a leg up and then falling back down. He loved people, he hurt people, he chose to do things to hurt himself. He tried to reconnect.

Last Thursday, he died. I got a call from a coroner's office in Colorado. He had an ID on him and that led them to his medical records, where my name and phone number were listed from the call a couple of Christmases ago. So the coroner called me. And he's gone.

It's such a strange thing to try to process. I can't really miss him, as I didn't really know him. My sadness comes from wishing that things could have been different. Wishing that drug addictions didn't creep in and fester and hollow out so many people. I'm sad for greater social issues, like how we treat the homeless in our culture, and how we (fail to) help with drug addictions on a systems level. I'm sad for how alone he was. For a quiet death. No funeral. No bells. I hope that there is peace for him, and for everyone who knew him.

Tip of the Hat

2010-11-09T22:56:00.005-05:00

My mom taught me to crochet ages ago. I've made scarves, throw blankets, giant queen-sized blankets, misshapen washcloths... you name it. But for some reason, hats were always intimidating. Until this week. I faced my fear of the hat and am happy to report that there's been no turning back. Since Saturday, I've finished four hats. Yep, a hat a day.

I had every intention of doing school stuff tonight, but I got a last-minute request from Jonathan to whip up a hat for a co-worker's baby shower... tomorrow. So we actually looked at patterns and yarn and buttons together and came up with my favorite hat so far.

So here's a tip of the hat to my mom, for teaching me to crochet. To Kelli and Marlo for encouraging me to go forth into the world of hats (and Ravelry), to Terry for the skype crochet tutoring. And to Jonathan for keeping track during all parts that involve careful stitch-counting. He's a stickler for that sort of thing and my hats would be completely misshapen without him.

The Best Things in Life

2010-11-05T19:55:00.003-04:00

... are free.

That's my hope as I start looking toward Christmas this year. I'm really hoping to have some success in making or doing for gifts rather than buying, buying, buying. I tend to spend more than I have and then have the double problem of not only spending more than I should have, but also doubting that I got "good" gifts anyway - no matter how much I spent. So this year, keeping with my efforts at The Compact, I'll give making and doing a try.

I can think of so many things that people have made and done for me in the past that I have loved. One of my favorite Christmas presents last year were some throw pillows that My sister-in-law made with some fabric I got forever ago intending to turn into pillows myself but I never got around to it. My mom has made me countless things - mittens, hats, quilts... all things that I love. Jonathan made me a scrapbook with pictures of us. These are the things I'd save if the house went up in flames. These handmade gifts. Now, of course, I love a good ipod, high-count sheet set, or spa gift certificate as much as the next person. So I'm definitely not above purchased gifts. I'm just hoping that I can be creative enough to come up with some good home-spun presents this year.

So, family, feel free to drop hints as you see fit. Otherwise it'll be crocheted cat sweaters and cookies all around*.

*I can also make dog sweaters.

Her mother's daughter.

2010-11-03T11:45:00.003-04:00

Evelyn has been a bit on the serious side since the day we met her. She was probably pretty serious in utero too, but those sonogram pictures don't have the best resolution. I wouldn't say she's an unhappy baby at all. She just doesn't smile without good reason. You have to work for smiles, and you really have to work for laughs*.

I think she gets it from me. I do laugh, and smile, and enjoy life. But I'm not one who just walks around grinning all day (I did this on my wedding day and my face hurt for two solid days following. I guess I need to practice smiling more!).

So, we're okay with having a child who thinks things through before giving her approval (or disapproval). But I do hope that she gets at least a little of her dad's ability to completely relax and think about nothing sometimes.

*Unless you're Linus; then you get free smiles and laughs just for being in the same room. She adores her cousin Linus. And rightfully so!

Tres Updates

2010-10-30T20:37:00.008-04:00

I forget how many things I've said "I'll keep you posted" for here on the ol' blog, but today I remembered a few and I decided I ought to keep my word. So here you have updates on three things. I'll give you the details and current state of (1) cloth diapering, (2) the raking of the yard, and (3) The Compact.

First, diapering.

I've made a couple of updates so as not to leave you all holding your breath for too long. But you might actually want to hold your breath now, because when you start feeding a baby anything other than mother's milk, things get stinky. And gross. And more prone to diaper rash. We've learned a few things.

It only took a few days to realize that Evelyn's daycare was plowing through our all-natural, cloth diaper friendly, super expensive diaper rash ointment before we switched that to whatever is cheap and easily accessible at most stores in case we have to grab more to restock her school supply. But when the diapers came home the first day after the ointment swap, I quickly realized that we were going to have a real problem. Standard diaper ointments and cloth diapers do not mix. The ointments get on the cloth and render it pretty much waterproof - that's the job they do to the skin, so they just keep doing their job on the cloth. And a cloth diaper that doesn't absorb? Well, that's just not going to work.

I stripped the diapers (something that's recommended periodically for cloth diapers - learn more about it and how-to here) and then did some thinking on a solution. So far we've been sticking with these flushable diaper liners - which were all actually gifted to us by our super thoughtful family before Evelyn arrived. I just hadn't thought to use them until now. The liners have been great because they prevent the diaper cream from getting on the cloth, and they also keep some distance between the increasingly gross poop and the diaper itself. It makes cleaning the diapers so much easier.

Even with the liners, though, there are times when it would be super helpful to have a diaper sprayer, so tomorrow we're heading to a new store down the road a little ways to finally take the plunge and get this sprayer that we've been pining after for months. And next time there's an update, you can hear all about it.

Second, the yard.

Why would someone intentionally spread needles?! Well, I guess if you live in North Carolina you just have to realize that pine needles are mulch. They just are. I learned from my hours and hours and hours and hours of raking and bagging that the effort really did not seem to be paying off. I was feeling less triumphant than I had hoped. Much less. And I had a small mountain of lawn bags full of needles that I was not sure how I was going to deal with.

Solution? In my feverish daze this week, I noticed that our neighbors were getting their lawn done again. Their lawn is always perfect. And we share part of the front lawn, so there's always this line of a brown, thick layer of pine needles clearly showing where our lawn starts and theirs ends. So I went over before they left and, fevered and stuffy and pink-eyed and all, asked if they could please just make my front yard look decent. It's just a two-man crew and the main man walked around a little bit and said, "No problem. Thirty-five bucks." And not 20 minutes later, with the help of an edger, riding mower, and crazy powerful leaf-blower, the lawn was gorgeous. The needles were in neat little beds under the pine trees, and no where else. Spectacular. Best $35 I'd spent in a long time.

The back yard is still a work in progress - I've got just a little more work to do before I can say I've removed the top layer of pine needles from the whole yard. Then we'll probably have the lawn guys take all those needles and do some discussing with them about the best plan for our back yard. They seemed really reasonable and knowledgeable about needles and lawns and such from our first encounter, so we'll see!

Third, The Compact.

Clearly, since I just dropped 35 clams on our needles and we're planning to get a diaper sprayer tomorrow, you could say that I failed at my quest to buy nothing. Here are some other things I did: got coffee/tea more than 3 times per week, and took the car for an oil change at the dealership. But so far I think that's it. My downfall is definitely the "eating out" thing. There are lots of reasons for that - mostly convenience. We leave the house at 7ish and I feed Evelyn at 6, so there's a pretty limited amount of time in the mornings to get everyone up and ready to be out all day. We usually leave the house with 6 bags between me and Evelyn... Some days it's 2 PM and I haven't had 3 spare minutes to use the restroom, let alone eat, so I don't know yet what the best solution will be here but I'll work on it.

There have been lots of things I've wanted to buy. But the funny thing is that I want them and then two days later I can't even remember what they were. Seriously, right now I can't remember anything I've really wanted specifically. I just know there has been stuff. I haven't gotten it, and I'm fine. Oh wait, I just thought of one thing as an example - sometimes at the grocery store I get a People magazine or something else mindless as a special treat. So I've definitely wanted to grab one or two. But I haven't.

So I'll say it's been relatively successful so far. It's at least encouraged me to be more mindful about buying things, and about how advertisers work to make us think we need their products... and that's a pretty important start.

Happy Halloween!

2010-10-29T15:27:00.003-04:00

We're taking it pretty easy this weekend, as I'm still fighting the great mystery illness of 2010. (Today's update: the student health folks swapped my eye drops to something new - this will be the 4th thing I've tried - and told me that it sure does look like pink eye but it's not really acting like pink eye and I might have to go to an eye doc next week... and then regarding the other symptoms they said either I'm just taking a really long time to recover, or it's "early mono". Ick.)

Evelyn LOVES the pumpkins. She especially loves to gnaw on the tops of them, which makes sense because they're probably a little bit cool and they're just the right firmness for a teether. Sometimes she turns them around and starts to munch on the stem side, and then she gives me a surprised look and switches back to the punkin side again. It's as adorable as it sounds.

We hope for lots of trick-or-treaters but the neighbors say that our 'hood isn't usually major Halloween stomping grounds so we'll see!

When Mom's a PhD Student...

2010-10-27T12:31:00.003-04:00

Here are a few things I've noticed about being a full-time student, wife, and mom. In no particular order...

1. The Halloween costume will most likely be something easy and store-bought, despite months of thinking and planning much more adorable costumes.

2. The house will never be entirely clean. Never.

3. Baby will sometimes have some "diaper free" play time on a big sheet spread out on the floor because the diapers didn't get washed and line-dried in time for the next change. (And by sometimes, I mean at least once a week.)

4. Mom will not be too caught up with milestones and when/if they occur because there are 10 hojillion other things taking up her cognitive capacity. This will lead to some creative license when the pediatrician asks questions he's probably used to getting an exact time, date, and video proof for.

5. There won't be truckloads of money, but there will always be that twinkle in dad's eye that someday... someday... these 10 years of college will pay off and mom will actually get a paying job.

6. Baby will get plenty of quality time with dad while mom writes her dissertation.

7. Baby will inevitably attend graduate-level courses at a remarkably tender age. Evelyn's first course was a three-hour lecture on psychometrics and she. loved. it.

8. Mom will read journal articles to baby at bedtime. It's multitasking!

My soapbox.

2010-10-21T18:46:00.006-04:00

Sometimes I process through writing, so bear with me. I'm releasing some steam and some thoughts into the blogosphere here.

So, I grew up in Wichita, Kansas. It looks like this:

Juuuust kidding. We've come a long way since our Cowtown days. But of course, being in the heart of the country, religion was (and is) big. And where you have organized religion, you're bound to have some extremists. We have plenty of notoriously hateful and hurtful religious extremists in Kansas. They come in a variety of flavors, including the militantly "Pro-Life" version.

Growing up, I saw plenty of protests. For a while, I lived within walking distance of a clinic and I saw escorts leading women in and lines of people holding signs and shouting at them. I heard about violence. I heard about hate. I saw horrible billboards from the "Pro-Life" groups on the lawn of my high school (and at graduation, as an added bonus) when they'd come to demonstrate. Or was it to chastise? To spread fear?

I never liked it. I was all in with lots of somewhat questionable religiosity in some ways, but I never could belly up to the "Pro-Life" activities. It just felt like something was wrong. I couldn't put a finger on it then. But maybe now I can, at least a little bit.

Now I've had a chance to see and learn a little bit more about the system of supports that some pregnant and parenting women and young women can (try to) access. I work beside people in the helping professions who are scraping together everything they and their agencies can to help these women. And I'm appalled.

Where are all the "Pro-Life" protesters who fight with such determination for these babies to be born? When the baby comes, where are they? When the money runs out to provide vouchers for childcare so that teen moms can finish high school and go on to provide for their children, where are the protesters and their wallets? When there's not enough food, not enough clothes, not enough medicine, no car, where is the support? The funding for mental health to help these moms and kids? The resources?

I know they're out there. Right? They must be. Right? I mean, surely they wouldn't spend so much time and money organizing and planning and media-blitzing and, let me remind you, killing, all under the auspices of saving the lives of unborn babies... but then not contribute their time, money, thoughts, or resources towards supporting the needs of women and babies. Surely not.

I must just keep missing them, wherever they are. Because I see lots of things. I see people put in impossible situations. I see social service organizations with zero funding. I see the public's righteousness and quick judgment about people who receive supports like WIC and food subsidy. I see so many things. But I don't see much in the way of real, sustainable support.

Autumn

2010-10-20T09:20:00.003-04:00

It's my favorite season. Even though I'm still not convinced that we're completely free of 90-plus degree days around here, I think I'll admit that it is indeed autumn. We kicked off the best season with a trip to the pumpkin patch, this year checking out Vollmer Farm. The place was a mecca of fall goodness. The highlight was that I got to ride the cow train with Evelyn.

The only downside? Yet another disappointing fake cow-milking station, as seen so often at all sorts of fall events. Can a girl milk a real cow or what? And they were out of hot apple cider. Who runs out of hot apple cider?! But it was really quite fun. I got four little round pumpkins to carve... or paint... or something. I'll figure it out before Halloween I'm sure.

We arrived chronically early, as we sometimes do, which wasn't so bad because it allowed us time to browse the country store, sample some farm-fresh ice cream, and let Evelyn explore the gourds and pumpkins galore. When dusk started to creep in, we all (the whole NC Bartel/Lingenfelser gang) headed out to Wake Forest for some yummy pizza.

Today Evelyn is home with her first bona fide fever and Jonathan and I are tag-teaming it so he can get some things done at the office this morning and I can do a home visit and see a client in the clinic this afternoon. I'm sure she'll be fine but it's never fun to see a little one feeling sad, tired, and uncomfortable. Poor little mouse.

The Compact: Day 1

2010-10-18T20:31:00.003-04:00

Last week, I had this idea. How about buying nothing. I'd heard about it before, of course. I'd tossed it around in my mind. But last week it finally clicked. I read about The Compact and I liked what I read. So I decided to give it a go. I'm making up some rules as I go, but here's the plan thus far:

RULES
1. Don't buy new products of any kind.
2. Borrow it or buy it used.

FINE PRINT

1. Okay to buy new food, drink, toiletries, and necessary medicine. Limited to three meals purchased outside of the house per week (coffee and a muffin counts here... it's my vice).

2. Okay to buy necessary cleaning products (but try to make them when you can).

3. Okay to buy undergarments (utilitarian – not couture/ornamental [to this rule Jonathan said "Ornamental?! It's not Christmas!" Clearly I don't buy couture or ornamental underthings]).

4. Okay to buy new clothes/items for Evelyn when absolutely necessary and if I can’t find them second-hand.

5. Okay to use services (veterinarian, plumber, mechanic) as needed; try to go local/use salvaged parts/do only what’s necessary and not elective things. (I will probably fail with the mechanic part since we really only trust the Toyota dealership with the Prius.)

6. Recreational services (massage, salon, etc.) – good as gifts; don’t overindulge for self; go local.

7. Charitable contributions – always okay and great as gifts.

8. Magazines, newspapers, Netflix – okay to maintain but no new subscriptions.

9. Travel is allowed; but no buying new stuff just because you’re on vacation.

10. Okay to buy school stuff as needed (pens, paper, textbooks) – not gratuitously.

Yes, I see the irony in having 2 rules and 10 exceptions. Oh, and my friend Marlo also said that it's okay to buy stuff that you're going to use to make stuff. Like, I could buy yarn that I'm going to use to make Evelyn some hand-knit babylegs, or some crocheted hats, or what have you.

I'm pretty much stoked to try this though. I hope that it encourages me to be creative and avoid impulse buys (that I usually regret anyway). I also have a pretty huge motivator. I'm going to save my monthly spending money and put it toward a trip with my little college posse. We've talked about going on a cruise together... we'll see!

I'm committing to six months of The Compact. I'll provide periodic updates of my progress from now until April 18, 2011!

Everything changed, then changed again.

2010-10-13T22:16:00.007-04:00

It's hard to find a friend.

At least now it is.

It wasn't always so. I never really thought I had any problems making friends throughout school and then the undergrad years. I have a handful of high school friends I'm still in touch with, and a handful of my college girls who I've vowed to see for an annual meet-up. My first three grad school years were in a lock-step program with a cohort of 13, and it was us against the world. We laughed, we cried, we learned to be clinical psychologists, and we spent pretty much every day of those three years with each other.

And then I thought a change would do me good. So we moved East.

I joined a cohort of 2 and had no classes with my fellow first year student. The population in my new grad program was tiny - which I was aiming for, but I didn't fully sort through the repercussions of it. Most people seemed to be from the area, completing their degrees at one of the many local schools and having those built-in friends and family ties pretty established.

So my first year, I dove in to school. I volunteered for extra work. I helped people with their research projects. I spent hours making the perfect powerpoint presentation. I got a puppy. I tried to have a party to make friends with the school kids, but it was only an average party in the end. It was rainy. Our apartment was small and underfurnished... I don't know. It just wasn't great.

My second year, I spent most of the time trying not to puke (pre-baby) and the rest of the time trying to function on very little sleep (post-baby). We bought a house and moved. Still had the dog and cat and now a baby, but not so much a good friend.

Now it's my third year. Life is settling back down after the excitement of last semester, and I feel myself settling in to this rut. The no friends rut. I like people at school. I get along with them at school. I think they're probably pretty awesome people away from school but I see them in that context maybe twice a year. I like people at Jonathan's work. I try to do some stuff with them... I went to a new mom's group and liked that and then I went back to school and almost everyone else stayed home. I like some of the moms from Evelyn's daycare class. I say hi to them on Facebook and at pickup and drop-off time. But that's about it.

Sitting at home most nights and most weekends, I try to come up with new and fun things Jonathan and Evelyn and I can do. Jonathan's going a little bit crazy with me asking him where he's going whenever he leaves the room. I'll admit I've become overly attached to my him as my husband and best friend. Without an intervention it could get downright dysfunctional.

But it's hard to find a friend. It was easy when I spent every day and night with the same people. It was easy before I had a dissertation to write, a baby to raise, a yard to rake.

I thought about joining a church just to get in on a small group because everyone and their cat seems to have some kind of small group thing happening these days. But then that's not really the best reason to join a church and I suspect I might not fit in if I roll up all Honest Abe and let them know that I'm just there for the potential friend-making benefits. Plus churches seem so homogeneous. And there's the whole issue of not really agreeing with everything that particular denomination or church or group is hip on believing. The complexity of the plan seems to outweigh the benefits. I need some kind of match.com for friendship. A friend blind date. I don't know...

I suppose I'll figure it out some day. I hope it's sooner rather than later. In the meantime, although I know I'm not alone, it's still pretty lonely.

If you go to San Francisco...

2010-10-10T21:12:00.023-04:00

We are home, recovering from an amazing week in California on the Great Family Vacation of 2010. I know I won't be able to recreate it all in words for you here, but I'll try to recap some of the highlights before much less exciting things take their place in my memory.

Day 1: Saturday, October 2, 2010

We flew with Adrian, Abby, and Linus to Houston where we met Mee Maw and Pop Pop for the second leg of the flight to San Francisco. Once we landed in San Fran, picked up our luggage, and started the trek to the car rental place, it was approaching bedtime back home. But thanks to the time change, we still had half a day to enjoy! I look pretty exhausted here though.

We had dinner at the Beach Chalet Brewery and Restaurant, where we watched a sand castle competition on the beach and enjoyed the history of the Golden Gate Park with maps and exhibits as we waited for our table. We also saw a ridiculous number of people hanging out in and around the park - only later did I realize that it was the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival. (Click that one at your own risk, family members, because you might have to shed some tears about what we missed! I think we needed just a few more weeks in San Fran to take it all in!)

After that, it was on to the Golden Gate Hotel. This place is perfect. They had me at the clawfoot tub and big fluffy bed. Not to mention the croissants. The tea and cookies. Seriously. Perfect.

And a mouse painted in the antique elevator?! Seriously. Perfect.

Day 2: Sunday, October 3rd, 2010

We slept in a little and had a leisurely breakfast at the hotel before catching a cable car down to Fisherman's Wharf. Evelyn really liked to watch the cable car drivers as they pulled the breaks and rang the bell. That was her favorite part.

We poked around the piers a bit and spent some time at the Musee Mecanique, an old warehouse full of antique arcade machines. It was a really cool place and pretty fun to get a pocket full of quarters and play around for a while.

After that, it was time to grab lunch. We headed to Alioto's for amazing views of the wharf and delicious food.

Next up was some more wharf-wondering. We visited the stinky Sea Lions on Pier 39. We did spontaneous, whimsical things like picking out oysters and finding pearls and having them set into gorgeous earrings (thanks for that one, Jonathan!). And then we heard a street barker calling out, "Bay tours only $15" and we all stopped and looked at each other and said, "Why not?" So we took a tour of the San Francisco bay, sitting on the front of a little tiny boat. They even cut the engine when we went under the bridge so that we could enjoy the quiet and take pictures.

Richard and Terry had fun on the cruise, don't you think? I love this picture of them.

Sunday continued with a walk up to Ghirardelli Square and dinner at a little pub there. By the time we grabbed a cable car back to the hotel, we were all exhausted.

Day 3: Monday, October 4th, 2010

We had to wake up bright and early for our tour of Alcatraz on Monday morning. We grabbed the world's most expensive cafe breakfast at the Wharf and then headed over to the queue for the ferry to Alcatraz. Jonathan was on picture duty there so I don't have much until I get his phone pictures, but Alcatraz was really cool. The audio tour was incredibly well done and we enjoyed learning some new things.

That took up about half the day, so right when we got back we headed out to the Cliff House for some delicious popovers and crab cakes. And even more amazing views. On our way back to the hotel, we did a little drive-by sightseeing of Haight-Ashbury (that website makes me smile) and the Seven Sisters at Alamo Square (checking off my "Full House" tourist goals from the San Fran to-do list).

Once we returned from these adventures, we put the mouse down for the night and Terry babysat while Jonathan and I hopped on a cable car down to Union Square, where we had an early anniversary dinner at John's Grill. We followed up dinner with a pit stop at Walgreen's for some baby food and diapers; the juxtaposition of these two anniversary stops makes me smile. Then it was time for a long soak in the clawfoot tub and a good sleep in the fluffy bed.

Day 4: Tuesday, October 5th, 2010

Tuesday brought with it the adventure up North. First stop: Lombard Street for some photo ops. Second stop: The Golden Gate Bridge.

I have mixed feelings about the bridge ever since watching this documentary. I think I'd be 100% cool and happy with it if they'd erect some suicide barriers (these people agree). But apart from that, I did enjoy it and I was sufficiently impressed with the engineering required to even think of suspension bridges.

After the bridge, got on the 101 headed North. Our experienced travel guides pointed us towards the Sterling Vineyards, where we enjoyed a beautiful and delicious wine tasting tour.

From there, it was a long and winding road to Shelter Cove. But once we arrived and opened the car door... BLISS. Jonathan and I listened to the waves crashing on the rocks, smelled the salty air, and looked up to the clearest sky where we could see the Milky Way. It was perfect. We shared a couple of suites at a very nice and small hotel, Evelyn was content with her little mouse-pad (haha) on the floor, and we slept well.

Day 5: Wednesday, October 6th, 2010

Happy third anniversary to us!

We spent the morning lounging around and exploring Shelter Cove... The tide pools, the little market and deli, the lighthouse... We grabbed some pizza for dinner and just relaxed.

Day 6: Thursday, October 7th, 2010

After breakfast, we headed up to tour the Avenue of the Giants. Even if you think you know how big Redwoods can be, you have no idea until you see one. They are huge. Ginormous. As Linus used to say, Q-mongous!

We stopped at a couple of galleries and I promptly decided that a redwood salad bowl would be nice. Of course bowls are the most expensive thing ever, so we passed on them at the first gallery deciding to shop around. Wouldn't you know that we never did find another bowl that we liked enough to buy. Next time we'll just have to trust our guts and go with the impulse buy I guess!

Day 7: Friday, October 8th, 2010

Friday was the day to head back to San Francisco.

We said goodbye to the Tide's Inn.

But we did get to stop to admire the Redwoods a little bit more at Richardson Grove State Park and the drive-through Chandelier Tree.

By the time we went back over the bridge and through Golden Gate park and reached our hotel (in Friday evening traffic, no less), we were ready to grab some dinner (YUM) and hit the hay.

Day 8: Saturday, October 9th, 2010

We woke up at 5 AM to grab a quick breakfast, headed to the airport, and pretty much walked right on to our plane. The flight from San Francisco to Newark, New Jersey is long, but we survived with our sanity mostly intact.

There was enough time in Newark to scavenge for some decent food (or at least edible food...) before catching our last flight home on a little propjet. Evelyn and Linus entertained each other for a while and both maintained pretty cheerful dispositions despite the late hour and long day.

By 10 PM, we were home and ready for bed.

I shed some tears, as I always do to mourn the end of a vacation. And what a vacation it was.

Thank you to Richard and Terry for making this trip possible, being our guides, and putting up with us when we thought we knew more than you (it's these newfangled phones, I tell ya). ;) And to Adrian and Abby and Linus for being our traveling companions and helping us with Evelyn! We had such a good week, I really do hate to see it go.

The Precipice of Procrastination

2010-09-27T10:04:00.003-04:00

I can safely say that I've crossed the abysmal precipice of procrastination. The dissertation is off and running. The catalyst for me was, not surprisingly, a class that is requiring me to log at least nine solid hours of writing every single week. I say not surprisingly because I really shouldn't have been surprised that a class has spurred me on to productivity. I'm good at being a student. I'm good at taking classes. The first time I ran a marathon, I was in a marathon-running class. There were weekly assignments. Homework. Expectations. I did well.

So I'm thankful that a friend nudged me into signing up for this class at the last minute (seriously... I showed up for the first class meeting about halfway through it and I signed up for the course later that night). I'm still working on the literature review. I have murky ideas about what the methods and stats will entail. But I have a 10 page bibliography and a 25 page document and that's got to count for something.

And just in case you're really interested in the thrilling topic of my dissertation? It's going to have something to do with an analysis of communication patterns within problem-solving teams in schools. It's a bit obscure and it involves transcribing multidisciplinary team meetings in schools and coding every single utterance on different dimensions... but it's actually kinda fun.

I should be proposing my dissertation sometime this spring. In the meantime, I have to pass the Praxis and then get through prelims (also known as comps or quals - preliminary, comprehensive, or qualifying exams... basically 2 solid weeks of writing followed by a verbal grilling by faculty to make sure I know my stuff. Or to make sure that at least I know what I don't know).

There's your school update. I promise to get back to the regularly-scheduled Evelyn programming now :)

Durham Nights

2010-09-21T09:13:00.001-04:00

Failed attempts at a picture of Linus
Originally uploaded by Chelsea and Jonathan

We spent Friday night hanging out at the American Tobacco Historic District to take in one of the Music on the Lawn concerts. It was perfect.

Mellow Mushroom pizza.

Red Oak beer.

Free PB&Js passed around courtesy of Whole Foods.

One happy baby.

Aunt Abby and Uncle Adrian and a strange Tasmanian Devil. Oh wait, that was Linus.

I vote for them to continue these concerts well into October. I think summer will probably last until mid-November at this rate anyhow.

I, Sisyphus.

2010-09-12T18:28:00.004-04:00

Last weekend, I cheerfully announced to Jonathan and Evelyn, "I want to rake the yard."

I put in a few solid hours' work...

... and then a couple more most days this week...

... and quite a few hours this weekend...

And I now have close to 20 lawn bags full of pine needles. And an aching back.

And I'm just about halfway finished.

Then there's the front yard. And the gutters. And the patio and driveway and walkway. And all the while, those gorgeous loblolly pines that I fell in love with the first time I visited North Carolina continue to drop their needles.

Half Birthday

2010-09-10T19:01:00.003-04:00

Evelyn is six months old today. We celebrated with a visit to the doctor's office this morning for a few injections and an oral vaccination. Evelyn recovered quickly and was her normal self all day. And for the stats lovers in the audience:

Height: 49th percentile
Weight: 41st percentile
Head: 84th percentile

That is one seriously large noggin. And... with a height and weight so close to spot-on "normal," wouldn't you think that she'd fit just right in 6 month clothes? Not so. Everything I buy now is sized 12 months or older. Some of it's a little bit big (onesie in the picture is size 12 months) but most of it fits pretty well.

We rounded out the day with a little visit to The Diapering Doula store where some of our favorite people were hanging out, lunch with Jonathan, and then hanging out at Jonathan's office while he finished up some work. Once home, it was time to snuggle with dad in the hammock, eat some apples and carrots, and head to bed.

Not too shabby! And just for fun, here's a picture I ran into last night when I was organizing some files on my computer. It was taken almost exactly one year ago.

What a difference a year makes!

Emergency?

2010-09-07T19:03:00.002-04:00

Yesterday brought plenty of excitement in our house. We went out for a tasty lunch, browsed around Home Depot to plan for our garage organization projects, and headed home for some pine needle raking (story on that later) and rest.

Evelyn nursed and we were all just hanging out on the couch when... the vomiting began. We weren't worried at all. I took Evelyn to the tub so we could clean up, but... the vomiting continued. Still not really worrying. We got her dressed and she felt a little bit cold and was looking a bit pale, so we headed outside to lay in the hammock and read for a while. But still with the vomiting. And there really wasn't anything left in her belly, so she was struggling and just looking awful.

We decided to call the nurse line. Of course it was busy and the recording said to leave our number and someone would call back. By that point, Jonathan was holding Evelyn and she appeared to be passing out. She would just close her eyes and go soft and not really respond unless we vigorously tried to wake her. Our plan was to head to the urgent care center, but she seemed to be quickly getting more and more out of it. Jonathan checked her breathing and said it was really shallow and that was it - to the hospital.

We got to Duke and, contrary to my belief that they should be RUSHINGMYBABYBACKANDCHECKINGHEROUT! We waited in line and then took a seat in the waiting area. E continued to vomit, or to try to, and it was not pleasant at all. They called us back to take her vitals and she showed the nurses that she was indeed ill - so on went a toe monitor of some sort and back to the waiting room we all went.

Finally, we went to the children's side of the emergency department and met a couple of nice doctors and nurses and Evelyn pretty quickly started to look and act like herself. They did their checks and monitored her heart just in case, but nothing really seemed amiss. We felt better when the doctor said that we did the right thing to bring her in (because of the "altered mental state" and not so much the vomiting, which we know is okay unless it lasts for a very long time). And we were finally dismissed.

So, Evelyn is fine and we are fine. And now we have a practice run under our belts so we'll be old pros next time we have to visit an emergency department (which we hope is never... but kids do crazy things sometimes).

Baby Legs on the Cheap

2010-08-30T21:28:00.003-04:00

I first fell in love with BabyLegs when I saw my nephew Linus wearing his skeleton legs (insert cute picture that I can't find right now here). I won a free pair at a baby fair, and I was gifted a pair by my awesome mother-in-law. And I had dreams of stocking up on BabyLegs when Evelyn started daycare - just collecting all sorts of fun ones in different blue designs. But my plans were foiled when I discovered that the blue options are sadly limited... and these puppies are at least $10 per pair.
So I decided to be brave and give the old DIY approach a second chance. (This after my "simple 10-minute dress" disaster of months ago ended with me and the sewing machine not even on speaking terms anymore.) I found what appeared to be a Chelsea-proof technique for DIY Baby Leg knockoffs here. I grabbed a two-pair set of knee-high navy socks at Target and I went for it.

And the results? Success! What Evelyn means to say here that might not quite come across in her expression is: "I LOVE THEM!" She learned that bottom lip sucking in thing from Linus, by the way ;)

The Terrible Tues.

2010-08-28T08:05:00.003-04:00

Before the start of every semester, I get all excited about how good my schedule is going to be. So flexible. So free. So... not requiring me to be on campus every single day.

And about one week in to every semester, it hits me: My schedule is a mess. I have to be on campus at some point pretty much every day... save a few Saturdays and Sundays.

This semester, my downfall will be Tuesdays. 15 of them stand between me and winter break.

Between leaving the house at 7:15 and getting home around 7:15, I have three 15-minute breaks in the day. Two of those are pretty much consumed with packing up and moving from building to building for a class.

I'm working on the problem solving required to figure out pumping, eating, and going to the bathroom during these 12 hour stretches on Tuesdays. I think if I can figure out how to do all three with some regularity, I should just be given my Ph.D. on the spot.